I used to be obsessed with cleanliness
Always hung my coat and cleaned up my mess
My house was sparkly, never unsightly
One day I stopped and wondered ‘what’s the point?
Why am I wasting time cleaning this joint?’
I’ll throw out nothing and I’ll save everything

My bridesmaids gowns and fast food cups (hey!)
Everything is covered up in dust
I hear a meow, I know that sound
Cat’s under, but can’t see the ground
Papers turned brown and crumpled up
Baby I can never have enough
I kept it all, look at me now

My stuff is covered in spiders, expired
Piles getting higher
And I will keep addin’, after I go to the store
Clutter, clutter--it’s my own island
Cause space I’ll keep cramping, and you, you just watch me hoard!

Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna see me hoard!

Now I’ve got TV crews stopping by
Offering me trash bags and germ wipes
I told them hell no; they just don’t know

They held me down; tried to clean up (No!)
All shaking their heads in disgust
But it’s my choice, I’ll stand my ground
I’ll call ya if your keys are found
Yeah, I could drown under my stuff
But I’ll still never give it up
I need it all, I don’t care how

I’ve got my tapes of Survivor, MacGyver, Jerry McGuire
Boxes of tampons are piled and blocking the door
Chowder, chowder that’s spoilin’
From when I went camping, a month ago that I stored

Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna smell me hoard

Show oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Show oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Show oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna see me hoard

More, more, more, more, morrrrrre

I’ve got the need to acquire more tires
And pile them higher
And I keep amassing, cause feng shui is such a bore
Crowding, crowding and then buyin’
My sanity’s forgone and now all I do is hoard

Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Grow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna see me hoard

Mo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Mo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Mo oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna see hoard