First thing's first, striped pajamas (’jamas)
Scratch that -- polka-dot MC Hammers! (you can‘t touch this)
And I still wear it at my business
My boss always frowns, so I'm give him some of my Twizzlers (right, right)
You should eat a sandwich like this (yuck!)
Trick or treat in costume like I’m from KISS (yeah)
Face of Ace, tongue of Gene, hair of Criss
High heels, somethin' with a mouse named Mickey on my wrist (on my wrist)
Watch my Wheel of Fortune tapes, can’t miss Sajak (never)
Dancing down the street with eighteen 8-tracks (what?)
Hook the worms on, where the bass at?
Urine spillin', fish must hate that

I'm so tacky
And you probably know
Results in chest pains
Aneurysm, maybe stroke
I'm so tacky
Can't you taste this mold?
Remember my nose
'Bout to blow-ow-owwww

They say, "Hey, Pee-wee Herman!” “I thought you were German."
Can't stand no haters with high class and sermons
And yes, I just farted as ‘vator departed
Crackers for supper, got evictions from apartments
Paid them all my money on time, but my behavior, declined
They swear the pants I wear so much shouldn’t live past nineteen nine-nine
So they sag below the line! But I don’t like Calvin Cline
Except the one from 1980s, talkin’ Marty McFly
They tell me, who dat, who dat? That do dat, do dat?
Got my Urkel overalls, like “Did I do dat, do dat?”
I look like T-G-I-F from the days of old
And I do a bad impression of the dad, Winslow

I'm so tacky
You already know
I quote from Mark Twain
As Robert DeNir-i-o
I'm so tacky
I’m so brave and bold
I might regret it
When I’m oh-oh-ooold

“Where’s your jail cell?”
Let's play Punk’d in the parking lot
Make a crank call
See me twerk at a restaurant
Yeah, keep on turning it up!
Neck tie is swinging, with Howard the Duck
Cop cars, hey, what the f**k?
Fashion offensive? Like Hammer, can’t touch
Ow...

Still struttin‘ my pajamas
Got the whole world asking how I does that
Unfurl green socks, Don Knotts hat
Look at it, I bet you wishing you could clutch that
Night Court T-shirt, you like it, huh?
“Kitschy dude!” You’re just wishing you could buy it, huh?
Never turn down Muppets
Slaying these foes, Doug tattoo on my bum like

Douglas Yancey
Nickelodeon
What was his last name?
Doug Funnie, or I don’t know
I'm so tacky
And my taste is gold
Don’t like it, I say
You’re too oh-oh-oooold

“Who dat, who dat? Ay! Gee, gee, why??”
“Who do dat, do dat? Oy! Ay! Gee, gee, why?”
“Who dat, who dat? Ay-yi-yi, gee, gee, why?”
Oh-oh-oooold

“Who-who-who-who dat, who dat? Ay! Gee, gee, why?”
“Why do dat, do dat? Ay-yi! Gee, gee, why?”
“Who dat, who dat? Ay-yi-yi, gee, gee, why?”
Oh-oh-oooold