I answered an ad on a dating site
Called off work, logged onto Skype
He looked pretty hot in pictures
But face to face it worsened

It started raining and our top restaurant choice closed
I was starving and I was getting drenched

We finally found a Pizza Hut
But our booth was laden with cigar butts
We asked for another table
A new table

Gotta go, gotta go
Our server’s taking too long
Gotta go, gotta go
Someone just lit up a bong
Call the police
‘Fore I cough up a lung
Let the smell be gone
I have to go to work in the morning

It’s funny how some fast food
Suddenly tastes so good
And the standards that controlled me
Are melting in the wood

It’s time to pray this gets better
To stick it out and soldier through
Despite the fact now my sweater’s
Ruined

Gotta go, gotta go
I’m not feeling very well
Gotta go, gotta go
Away from this date from hell
I am bored, and I feel like slime
What a waste of time

My patience crumbled like a burrito gone wrong
And next on Repeat played that stupid "Hashtag Selfie” song
And then I accidentally exposed my thong
This date’s neverending
It’s just like 'Groundhog Day'

Gotta go, gotta go
Want to crawl in a hole and die
Gotta go, gotta go
God, I just want to cry
Now I run as fast as I can
Away from that “man”
I don’t ever want to see him again