I’m a scary critic on a meter, that you made from pop opinion
Your Armond White is like bullies from the days
With an outline or a scheme that we all seem to keep
Drive on sentence make you weep,
Well, New York Press won’t fire me anyway

So call your Ebert from the beach
His job is mine, now watch me teach
How real criticism is done around here

Cause nobody knows what to do with movies
From Pixar or Ghibli but me
I’ll tag them garbage just cause I’m Armond White

I got a feeling that Christopher Nolan
Keeps on “forgetting that superheroes
are also meant to inspire hope” though

I prayed on Transformers sequels
Yeah Michael Bay was great with The Rock
I think His works beat Citizen Kane

I can’t see now why people seem
To see my work for trolling sakes
Avatar had crap stories, you guys!

I’m a scary critic on a website
who sometimes blames racial profile
Your Armond White is like
Pre-K from the press
Should be fired or banned
He’s a critic
Who won’t get it

Harry Potter was too confusing
Mostly for “Alan Rickman's death scene”
Good thing that it’s over,
Because it blew

It’s part of the voice that stumps young ones
They love to hate me like Bieber’s songs
Their sites corrupted
With bad movies every day

He’ll review again

He’s worse than Frank
Your film’s a turkey thanks to Armond White
From Blue Velvet
With false precision in every detail made
He’d be fair but can’t

He’s a critic
Your bad review’s good, unlike Armond White
Who won’t get it
Well, his fans and foes are practically the same

Release The Kraken