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Song Parodies -> "Three Beers, Cold"

Original Song Title:

"Three Year Old"

Original Performer:

Eric Church

Parody Song Title:

"Three Beers, Cold"

Parody Written by:

Joe the Crazy Conch

The Lyrics

This song is about a guy from northwestern New Jersey who enjoys drinking beer - and lots of it - until he realizes that he has been acting strangely and should no longer drink "three beers, cold" every day.
I'll buy just about every lager that they've got
I'll stash a cold one in my tackle box
I even have a drink while cleaning out my mixing bowl
I never go a day without at least three beers, cold

There's a place under the trunk where I hide my six-pack
But if I drink too many brews, I'm really out of whack
Driving on Route 94, I think a drink will soothe my soul
But I shouldn't have more than three beers, cold

I got pulled over out in Blairstown
After I guzzled another one down
I could talk to Jesus on the phone
But it won't help after drinking all day long
Maybe I'm wrong, and I should just say so
'Cause I get messed up after three beers, cold

ShopRite Wines and Spirits has some pretty awesome stuff
But God is trying to tell me that I'm drinking more than enough
Tonight, I pray to you, oh Lord, I pray to keep me soul
Yeah, I shouldn't have had those three beers, cold

And if I'm drunk and on the road
I'll be locked up with my new car towed
Even talking to Jesus on the phone
Couldn't help the problem I've faced all along
Maybe I messed up, and I should just so say
I learned I shouldn't have three beers, cold

Sometimes, all I need is a hand to hold
And not that pale ale crisp and cold
I know I'm wrong, and I should just say so
I learned I shouldn't have three beers, cold
Well, friends, I learned that I shouldn't have three beers, cold

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Gerald - January 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Something different off the beaten track! 5's
Larry Hensley - January 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Fun to read, liked the ShopRite reference! 555

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