Ooh
I’m pretty thirsty
I would do anything to get a cold brew
But got no money
I’m stuck home on a Friday, what to do?
I want to party (ooh)
Then I hear thumping techno groove
And then it hits me (ooh)
'Cause for some brewski’s, I know what I must do

In this situation
I’ll change my persuasion
I’ll go down to the gay bar to pick up some free booze
Just on this one occasion
To reach inebriation
They’ll hit on me, that’s not what I’m into

But tonight, I’m loving dudes
Oh you know
I just do it for free booze
Oh you know
So tonight, I’m loving dudes
Oh you know
I just do it for the booze
Oh you know

Apple martini’s
Got one from Kyle, Ken, Reggie, Leo, and Drew
Ain’t paid a penny
I’ll tell all my friends that this is what they should do

Had a revelation
Been here every weekend
They say that I look great, my self esteem’s through the roof
Might need an explanation
Feel this exhilaration
Please don’t judge me, I’m still here for the booze

So tonight, I’m loving dudes
Oh you know
I’m just here for the free booze
Oh you know
I get hit on by these dudes
Oh you know
And they’ll give me this free booze
Oh you know

BOOZE UP!
Last night I got some brew
With a guy that I met named Stu
After a drink or three
Everything that I want, not spending money
Yet getting all this booze
After midnight
Bar crawl
One Screwdriver, thanks Carl!
I don’t need to wait in line
All these guys look for a fling
Like that guy named Paul
He sits next to me
He asked, “You wanna get on the floor
do you want to dance?”
Then, “Let’s go away back to my pad”
Think this whole thing got way out of hand…
“Before we leave
I must tell you
Some unfortunate news…
Please excuse me
I don't mean to be rude

But I’m just here for the booze
Oh you know
I know that you must feel used
Oh you know
I know I said I like dudes
Oh you know
But tonight, I’m using you
Oh you know
I just used you for free booze
Yeah, you’re right, I’m such a douche…
Yeah”