Buds can be jerks...
Watching them smirk... online...
Posting pictures of me... as a... dope...
Dressed as a baaaaaaard
In lame medieval garb... It bites...
Cockblocking all my flings... then they will slap high-fives

I flashed my bum in this photograph
Blackmail accessories give me hell
In french fries... I'm passed out dozing
A dart's lodged in my colon
Eyes are red and swollen ill

So I'll look cree-py
While at the office
All lap-top screens
Show the damn picture
Where a bed... sheet
Is my toga and I'm stoned
Boss is peeved and I'm boned

Ladies will squeal
Thanks to my friend's cell phone
The world can hear me sing and I blow (blow)
And Barbie Girl's cheesier
When a grown man belts out this peice to ya
Had way too much to drink and now I'm famous online

Keep acting dumb in these photographs
My rep's in jeopardy, Can't you tell?
Shoved in pies, I look revoltin'
My fart made an explosion
Christmas sweater's full of frills

So I'll seem frea-ky
Covered in chocolate
And cold baked... beans
Chicks think I'm grosser
Gnawed on my... feet
My long nails made them groan

And it's disturb-ing
Milk has sprayed looking at this "derp"... me
Downright outrageous with strange clo-thing
Like lederhosen in Cologne

Picture's on Google Chrome
Time I lost my dang comb
Hair seemed crazed on my dome
Looked like Pixar's Syndrome

Shots are sidesplitt-ing
My pals are reckless, They'll be shocked when they are click-ing
Won't look too smart... geeze...
All thanks to... me
When they peep I'll be a troll

That milk that's spurt-ing
Is on display, buddy, and your nerd... deeds
Once up on stage as Peter Pan... geek
Or tarred and feathered for a show

We'll play this game
Until both genders think we're big... freaks
Every Facebook post
Make us less... chic
Playing nude Twister with my bros
I'm burning these photos!