Wake up, make tea
Kettle boils slowly
I go, for a quick wee
Tea made, I need
A biscuit to fill my greed
But I don’t feel, like rich tea

I think, I want a custard cream
My tea’s losing steam
Better hurry up or, I will
Be late, for work again
Told off by my boss then, sit at my desk
And not do work, no I’ll just pretend

And I work for another man
Who works for another man
Who works for a man in New York
And he works for another guy
Who apparently is a spy
But I just sit here and order, office supplies
I don’t know why

Tea break, quick fag
Stole one out someone’s pack
Hanging out, their bag
Loose change, there too
I take it to be helpful
Enough, to buy food

And I bought, a pack of custard creams
I dip them in my tea
And I have done, since I, was young
And never, did I have digestive
No they got rejected, because
Custard creams were cheaper

And I go to the corner shop
Say hello to old man Bob
Get a pack biscuits for my tea
I only need to spend a pound
To hear that crunching sound
Of a tasty custard cream, now that’s the dream

And I believe, that I couldn’t live
Without, custard creams in my life
If I could, I’d make it legal
To make them my wife

Because, I love a custard cream
They make my face beam
CC’s and tea make a, good team
But lately, I’ve started liking hob nobs
They do such a good job, is that wrong
I could eat them until I pop

And I feel like a cheating man
For changing my eating plan
How could I betray my custard creams?
And I knew that the time had come
When they found the hob nob crumbs
How could I have been so dumb?
I’m such scum
My heart feels numb
Numb
Numb
I’ve been so dumb
I’m scum
And now, my heart feels numb