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Song Parodies -> "I'll Miss The Candy And The Brandy"

Original Song Title:

"I Miss The Ladies Of The Eighties"

Original Performer:

Dennis Develin

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Miss The Candy And The Brandy"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

My New Year's resolutions song comes early this year, because the original song totally rocks, and soon I'll need a mirror to see my own if I can't work out this new diet.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
It's december, again it's time
To from my list cross off a trove of tasties
Time to throw out all grease from my lair
Away, with all sorts of pastries

I'll miss the fryer
M'kay, it must retire

I'll miss the candy and the brandy
I'll miss the hot dogs and the eggnogs

Biting lemons, instead of swirls'
Akin to when I had to give up ewes
I'll run the bonbon aisles
That'll be adding up miles
Down to where greens are compiled

My coke supplier
On soy, he says I'll die there

I'd quit the orgies in my forties
Now I'll quit Danish, arse is heinous

I'll hail non-fatty vinaigrette
And I'll pound off sawdust baguettes
Amidst the weight loss

Heave 'em to me

I'll mend my fettle, grasp the nettle
I'll miss the Fritos and the Cheetos
I'll diss out droplet's worth of chocolates
I'll look like Gollum antebellum

I'll hail non-gluten soy croquettes
And on rose-hips hedging my bets

Lentils, chives and hum-mus, oh jeez!
I miss the beers, must take a knee!

I've still a rucksack with a six-pack!
I'll call my Sheila for Tequila!

And I totally hope to see some of these outtake lines below in someone else's parody today! :-)

I'll miss the cupcakes and the cheesecakes
I'll miss the milkshake and the poundcake
No more a-budd'ing over pudding
I'll cry for Funyons chopping onions
No more blown buttons for this glutton
I'll leave Gelati-lluminati
No more of huffin' over muffin'
I'll miss the red wine and the moonshine
No more meat nestin' in my 'testines
I will be whining over dining
I'll sit and grouse down at the alehouse
No more of pot cheese during munchies
I'm quitting wholly those Cannoli
No cherry gel-grub while on Pornhub
I'll be all misty over Whiskey
I'll be all love-lorn for the popcorn
No more I'll make-out with a pop-tart
I'll miss the Brittles and the Skittles
I'll miss the parties with the Smarties
I'll hit a new gym missing winegum
I'll be the mofo chewing tofu
I'll let the Reese's rest in pieces

© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   1
 3   2
 4   2
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - September 01, 2017 - Report this comment
I liked some of your outtakes more than the ones you kept! Seems to me you sacrificed comphrensibility for creativity in some spots ("Dehisced"?). This was a fun project, let's do some more.
Peter Andersson - September 01, 2017 - Report this comment
You nail the word I hesitated over the longest! In real life I'm on a rose-hip extract called Nypozin for my morning inelasticity, which is due to my nowadays otherwise suppressed rheumatism - also my grandparents had real rose-hips growing when I was young - me and my sister used to squeeze them open.
Matthias - September 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Nothing wrong with a good food/ fat parody. Weird Al would be proud. Best rhyming to the original I've seen so far. This is a fun project. Sorry I couldn't play the 1st round but I'm destined for round 2
Claude Prez - September 01, 2017 - Report this comment
Ah, so THIS is how it's done! I have so much remorse about my submission after reading this -- I'm no stranger to varying the chorus of course, but I just didn't get the fun possibilities this one offered. Love the bonus couplets too. Thanks for taking the initiative; this was fun.

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