They're bitched at by Princess Peach
Sick of hearing that chick screech
Mario Brothers
Aren't real life plumbers
Shower's a gusher
Toadette's soaked and starts to stink
Since she wrecked her kitchen sink
She feels so flustered
Pipes have been ruptured
How'd they get punctured?!
Water-logged cupboards

Mushroom Kingdom fools are claimin' they got punk'd
Huge disasters gather and there's no chance they'll be solved
Ooooo... Be solved...
Men who're high on 'shrooms and trample turtles flat
Shouldn't help out these civilians, Tubes they mauled
Ooooo... They mauled...

They blow
Pluuuuuuuuuucked... Hairballs outta those drains
Donkey Kong thinks that they're deranged
Ooooooooooo... He can't afford their wage
(Such a high-priced wage)

Bowser's castle's now a creek
Due to these Italian freaks
Mario Brothers
Aren't real life plumbers
Couldn't be dumber
Oooooooooo... Armed with a plunger
Delete their number

Goombas in deep water when their toilets pour
Waluigi's bonkers dealin' with these arse-clowns
Oooooooooo... Arse-clowns...
Yoshi's freakin' peeved, Bathroom became a pond
Birdo's eggs are sinkin'
They're pissed off since their house
Ooooooo... Is doused...

They're broke
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiince... Their bill is so insane!
(Whoa, No, no, no)
They'll be with Boo if they don't change (Change)
(Skills)
Their skills are such a shame
Ooooo... Looks gross
Tooooooooaaaaad.... Thinks that they're strange!

Creeps grippin' pipes and swingin' chains
Since their johns are concave
They'll groan
Nooooooooooooow.... They have no place to shave
Luigi might wind up in a grave
Extra lives they crave
They're boned
Thoooooooose... Homes were disgraced