Well okay, for today
You can be my guy
I’m rich, spoilt, sexy, cool, standards kinda high
You should know I am never easy to please
Keep your wallet open
Just keep it open

God I look so fine but all you can do is whine
You need more of a sign from me
Just tell you I love you and prove I mean it too
Yeah, well – whatever! Let’s see…

I would get my tan sprayed for you
Drink non-diet lemonade for you
I would cut down on my snacks for you
Get a Brazilian wax for you … oooohhh!
I would go through all that pain
‘Cause I’m shallow and kind of vain
But I’m a catch and I’m loaded
So don’t you dare complain…. No no no nooooo….

You try, I can’t lie
Buy me jewel’ry
But it’s from some crappy market stall and not from Tiffany
I’m flipping – “You tripping?” Made you take it back
No you can’t ride with me in my new pink Cadillac

Then you get all sad and you say I treat you bad
Complaining you’ve had all you can take
You ask me for the earth but jeez, for what it’s worth
Here’s… sacrifices I’ll make:

I’ll stop dissing you in my Blog
Spend less time with my handbag dog
Let you see me without make-up on
(With the lights off and the curtains drawn)
Ohhh…. I would go through all that hell
If you promise that you won’t tell
My reputation’s at stake here
My social life as well

Well you know I traded down, boy
Ooooh, ‘cause that’s what I had to do
You’re just the pond life in this town, boy
And I’m really, truly, far too good for you

But hey I still piss my life away for you
Try to brighten your day for you
‘Cause just by letting you be with me
I’m contributing to charity… oooohhhhh
I’d be glad I’ve scratched that itch
If I wasn’t such a mean bitch
So write a song all about me
Then maybe you’ll get rich

Yeah, off an airhead bitch….
‘Cause I’m already rich….
Ooooh, with just a touch of kitsch….
Yeah yeah yeaaahh yeah…