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Song Parodies -> "Staircase"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This guy really needs to get a new staircase installed in his house... Cause the one he has just ain't doin' the job!
Can we replace that staircase?
Cause those boards bite, They are way too harsh
I can barely take a step on down
Step on down...
Step on down...
Can we repair that staircase?
Since the wood's dry
Plus it's black and charred
Every time I take a step I frown
Step I frown...
Step I frown...

Yeah, Each morning I scream when a splinter's in my shin
I get whacked in the face since my ceiling tends to dip
Shoes trip on the old carpetin', I'm crashin' and thrashin'
My body's beaten and bruised, I'm in traction
Smashed into the linoleum due to it's badness
They're hard to climb since my house sure ain't a palace
Can't stand that railing so I'll groan since it's crap
Splinters showin' cause it's lethal and it's made from scrap
Walkin' to the next story's my goal
Wish my house was a Ranch to ease with my stroll
But mine is a Split-Level, Understand?
I'm forced to stick with the place I financed
Damn staircase, staircase, Ruins my day
It brings me pain when my skin is flayed
If I don't wear shoes, My feet are a fright
Since this wood's so cracked that it is a haunted house sight

How'd you defend that staircase?!
Is your mind fried?! Because that's bizarre! (That's bizarre!)
Every morning as a ditz I'm plowed
Ditz I'm plowed... (Ditz I'm plowed...)
Ditz I'm plowed... (Ditz I'm plowed...)
I can't really stand this staircase!
This hallway hike
Always does me harm (Does me harm!)
Wish I had an elevator now! ('Vator now!)
Hater now! (Hater now!)
Hater now! (Hater now!)

Yeah, yeah, Some carpenter is gonna get paid
To make this stairwell rock, My back won't be sprained
This carpet is so tattered here on top of these planks
My banister is diamond and there's a golden archway
This timber's swapped for granite mixed in with cement
Once was in pain from all these constant accidents
Done stressin' because my old stairs were vicious in my staircase
Once shady and so flaky and were super unsafe
As strong as cheap chopsticks but now they are proclaimed
Way back then they were cruddy, Held up with old Duct Tape
Now you can take a stride and your forehead won't bang
Who needs an escalator? With this grand display
Might not be filthy rich
And this was expensive
So my bank account's looted
But my shoes aren't split
It cost twelve grand but I won't bash my face
I redesigned my home's condition with that staircase

Needed to replace that staircase
I took a dive and that ground was hard (Ground was hard)
I'm glad that this flight was fixed, I'm proud (Fixed, I'm proud)
Fixed, I'm proud... (Fixed, I'm proud)
Fixed, I'm proud... (Fixed, I'm proud)
Needed to restore that staircase
There were beehives, Underneath those boards ('Neath those boards)
Used to be a bunch of sticks, I scowled (Sticks, I scowled)
Sticks, I scowled... (Sticks, I scowled)...
Sticks, I scowled... (Sticks, I scowled)...

Moldy lumber I must pitch right out (Whoa, oh, oh, oh)
U-u-u-used to fall down in a ditch, Yelled "Ouch!"
I, I, I bruised my arm (Whoa, oh... oh...)
Wor-wor-wor-worse than any wicked witch, I'm wowed
A b*tch, I twitched and howled
(I flinched and yowled)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Max Power - June 13, 2017 - Report this comment
555 steps.
bobpiecheese - June 14, 2017 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Took me until the end of the parody to realise that you based your chorus pacing on that one line being "in the night sky ARE like shooting stars" instead of the "in the night sky like shooting stars" that I thought it was. That said, this was very well written, though I was surprised that the staircase got replaced immediately in the second verse instead of expanding on the crappy aspects besides the quality of the wood. It's just how I would've done it, I guess. 555 splinters!

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