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Song Parodies -> "I'm Stirring The Kettle"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Get Better"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I'm Stirring The Kettle"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Trying just a little bit of magic can't hurt - can it? Potions class worked out just fine for Harry Potter and his friends - didn't it? And if they could - so can I!

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
I break the neck of a screecher from the back row
Pour in the bile and its fat lymphatic tissue
I stir the pot with an evil eye supervision, controlling the seething
With a harebrain broth I give breath to the first curse
And add in slime from some hearses and caskets
Taste a bowl and it pass on the old acid test

I'm stirring the kettle

While my friends are making pies
I have subscribed to Witching Times
I've signed up with the Fiend, because I've sold
My soul, my soul, my soul, my soul,

That I've sold, changing up my workplace
And within this year I've toted credit to the helot
Added millions through the bank, they want mortgage today
And when I called my new boss he passed, flexed a bit of claw

Hey, He's stirring the pot here!

Now I make lovelorn potions at a frantic pace
I'm stirring the kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle
I'm stirring the kettle
I'm gonna sell Uplibido™ at a black market place
I'm stirring the kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle
I'm stirring the kettle

There's a flash in the pan, now there's slime on the ceiling
What's with the texture, I've a sinking feeling
Add some eighteen year mold to quickly fix the faux pas

But I'm in danger

If I mess this up I'll be Hell's quite permanent
Fudge the bank, Lord of Flies carry more weight
So now I'm living in a shadow state, stumbling on myself

Hey, I need to do better!

Now I'm grinding rhino horns here like it was the blitz
I'm stirring the kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle
I'm stirring the kettle
I'm gonna sell Stiffüpper™ to the Fritz and Brits
I'm stirring the kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle
I'm stirring the kettle

Labeled vegan with a gram extra flax seed
I'm scheming with the list of contents
Evil fraud's not gonna kill me

Heed my warning, there's evil in the Galaxy
I didn't know that the Devil could trade me
Out the fire and to worser darkness
Now I'm with Cthulhu

So I speak in tongues and I take orders from the Old Ones
As for all the Earth, they're gonna wipe humans away
That's why I hustle to remediate, redeeming myself
Hey, forever and ever!

Now I work myself all sweaty at a frantic pace
I'm stirring a kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle
I'm stirring a kettle
I'm gonna make Nixxcrossroads™ and reverse our fate
I'm stirring a kettle, kettle, kettle, kettle

It better work, better...

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Matthias - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Well done! You were able to complete it... Only a few additional weeks needed. Very funny stuff!

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