(Silly!)
What does he want from me?
Why is he stalking me?
Why is he wandering? Please let me know
Please won’t you believe me?
It’s not insanity
Why did Chef Boyardee turn so psycho?

(Oh dear!)
That’s it, freaking out, pasta so tasty
Just sayin’, please help me out, get cops to protect me
Today, he’s slinking, this food guy is deadly
Yes way! I’m having no doubt
The man’s comin’ ‘round, and he wants to end me

Pasta with sauce, tickles my tongue (ahhhh!)
He’s not my friend, the jig is up (ahhhh)
Beef meatball class, failed on the run (ahhhh)
He’ll be my end—Oh Chef Boyardee!
(sound of can opening, pouring food into dish, revving up a microwave oven)
Chef Boyardee!
Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar---hates me!
Chey Boyar-, Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar-

Loved his Beefa-roni, and his ravi-oli
Why is he lingering, I need to know
Yummy yum cheese and meat
It is so savory
He’s a psycho
(Listen!)
Pushed my food cart—not what I expected
He jumped out from the dark and gave me a start
(ah) So discombobulated!
He began to bark, them calmed and whispered,
“To make my meals start, I must cut you in parts
(ah) With pasta al dente”
(ah) His apron was spattered with gore and bodily fluids, WOW!
Honestly I thought I would be dead by now
Screamed for Security but then the Chef ran out
Zipped out toward produce, or maybe the breads, but how?

Si, this Chef Primo wants to eat my soul
And I say—uh oh, Spaghettios!
You know that this all blows, I'm bingeing No-Doz
And I say—uh oh, Spaghettios!
(Awful!)

Tomato sauce, tickles my tongue (ahhh)
When will it end, will he give up? (ahhhh)
Beef meatball class, noodles are fun (ahhhh)
He’s not a friend—not Chef Boyardee!
(chainsaw SFX)
Not Chef Boyardee!
Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar---hates me!
Chey Boyar-, Chef Boyar-, Chef Boyar-

Why does he bother me?
I love maca-roni
Why is he threatening?
Why is it so?
Will he just fillet me?
Toss with some linguini
Who’s a psycho?