[Q]
We need a hero to save MI6
From villains who seize the day
Someone who will see all his missions through
And make the wrongdoers pay
There's no man just like the one I have in mind
He knows how to play this game
I'm always awed and inspired by him
And 007 is his name!

No one's smooth like James Bond
Drinks vermouth like James Bond
No one's masterf'ly urbane and couth like James Bond
For there's no British agent so daring
Perfect in so many ways
You'll be impressed by what he is wearing
And he'll be holstering a Walter PPK

Who plays cards like James Bond
Makes glass shards like James Bond
No one's vices and pleasures die hard like James Bond

[Bond]
As a double-O, orders I'll be awaiting,

[Q]
What a great spy, that James Bond!

[Bond]
That's splendid encouragement, I thank you, Q

[Q]
It still taxes my patience to often help you!

[Bond]
Really?

[Q]
Eh

No one fights like James Bond
Sets things right like James Bond
Or can punch out the Living Daylights like James Bond

[Bond]
I'm especially skilled at assassinating
(Bullet fires and hits target perfectly)

[Q]
Great aim from James Bond!

[Bond]
When I was a boy, with no parents around, my stepbrother was Oberhauser
But he has now grown into E.S. Blofeld, and he's plotting to gain world po-ower!

[Musical Interlude]

[Q]
Who stops crime like James Bond
Eats so fine like James Bond
Who can make up these parody lines like James Bond

[Bond]
I'm with Madeline in London and now we're dating

[Q]
Say it again!
He'll cut off Spectre's head!
From Macau to Bolivia to Montenegro
Villains' plans are finding themselves gone

There's just one British spy, lives by Live and Let Die

And his name's J-A-M, E,
I believe his file's classified,
It just occurred to me that I disclosed too much, and I already said his name aloud 14 times before!

James Bond!