-> "If The Tape Gets Unstuck (Your Wig Will Fall Off)"
Original Song Title:
"If The World Didn't Suck (We Would All Fall Off)"
Parody Song Title:
"If The Tape Gets Unstuck (Your Wig Will Fall Off)"
My daddy said to me
When I was two years old
A lot of things I did not know
Can’t fathom them still, though I’m 45
I sure did love my pop
But I do think he was stoned
He said “Life is a sidewalk
Every crack makes your mom’s back break
Sometimes a bird in the hand
Is not worth any time
When all they’ll do is peck your thumbs
Stings like a bitch, understand?
Do what you can, eat lots of bran
If the tape gets unstuck, your wig will fall off
And when you throw up, it will always fall down again
If it wasn’t for bad luck, we’d be better off
And if you fall in love
Be sure you make a file
It could be one of those spies
Against democracy or maybe a Nazi
Don’t let them all steal your heart
Listen to Bernie
He’s the best lawyer to take
If you make a stumbling fall
His breath is strong
But he makes deals again and again
Even if it’s your fault
And listen to what I tell your mom
If your zipper gets stuck, don’t let your blouse fall off
You just gotta pull up, or it will just drop again
Next time, just ‘nip and tuck’, and it will stand tough
Eat many stewed beets for health (4x)
Do you ever feel constipated?
Tell ya what I know in my brain
It’s those damned muffins baked by Mother
She used too much alum again
Gotta get on your feet, move around
Guts will unwind, then they will eject it
Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly
One phrase left to scan, I hope you understand
If the world is a duck, tell it to quack off!
If it treats you like snot, full it full of buckshot
Just say you’re a truck, and you will back off!
When a club flies up, might come down atop your head
(Eat those stewed beets for health, beets for health, beets for health)
I wish you lots of luck, now will you please get off?"
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|How Funny: ||3.0|
|Overall Rating: ||3.0|
|Total Votes: ||15|
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