There’s a site called Twitter on the ‘net
Say what the hell I like don’t matter who I upset
Tell some stranger I’m sleeping with his wife
What can he do? He’ll never meet me in real life

I’m too gutless to get in a real fist-fight
But on the web I’m far away and out of sight
There’ll be bile in everything I say
Racist or homophobe tell me who shall I be today?

The whole world reads me and that’s what feeds me
When they start bleating at me just ‘cause I’m a troll
One-forty letters and then I’ll get yer
‘Cause I’m still tweeting

I’m having such a ball (Sit here all day and… every weekend)
Trollin’ in my tweets (Freaking people out, acting like a creep)
‘Cause I’m the kind who types with one hand (Live with my mum and… can’t get a girlfriend)
In my basement, beating meat (What else can I do? Helps me get to sleep)

It’s as close as I’ll ever get to fame
You don’t know who I am but you’ve heard of me all the same
Slate me, hate me, ‘cause I don’t really care
Your rage lets me know you’ve noticed that I’m there

(Say what I like and… )
So I’ll be uncouth (no-one can get me)
‘Cause it’s my best proof (from asshole to troll)
A way to let the world know I exist at all (not that big a leap)
(Block and ignore… )
When I get flamers (still won’t forget me)
I know I’m famous (got under your skin)
And I feel better (and I cut you deep)

I’m gonna get you all (I’m gonna slap your… virtual asses)
Trollin’ in my tweets (Bonus points to me, if I make you weep)
So call the Twitter cops, get me banned (Pure nat’ral skill, I… never took classes)
Change my name and life is sweet (Yes I will admit, all my shots are cheap)
And YouTube’s my next call
After Trollin’ tweets
Leave comments people can’t understand
All my crazy keeps repeating

What the hell? They’ve suddenly changed the law (nooo)
Make trolls pay now, what did they do that for? (ohhhh)
I didn’t mean it, I was drunk you see (woahhh)
It was my brother just pretending to be me

(Cops did a search on… my Twitter ID)
I’m really not a troll
(Holy effing crap, now I’m in it deep)
Not me I never troll
(Thought I was safe and… they’d never find me)
At all, at all, at all…
(Holy effing crap, really in it deep)

And now I’m going to jail (Banned from the web, I… can’t even email)
For Trollin’ in my tweets (Holy effing crap, landed in it deep)
The judge said he was taking a stand (Took my PC it… went in a yard sale)
And he slayed me, I’m defeat (Tweet Life takes a nap, while I’m in it deep)
It was an epic fail (Sitting in clink I’m… pretty ‘un-friended’)
Trollin’ in my tweets (Now I’m here perhaps, I should let it sleep)
Now I’ve got lots more time on my hands (Just an ex-troll, my… fame has been ended)
Back to beating and beating and beating, I’m back to beating meat