Remember when you came to Washington
And how you were going to change the world
Remember how you said you’d never take a bribe
And how you’d improve life for boys and girls?
(You do? Well…)
All I remember is the way you nonchalantly
Squashed the constitution harshly out the door
All I remember is the way that you told lies
The day they finally questioned your ethics on the floor

Remember when you said you’d make changes in our lives
And we hung on every word you said
Remember how you swore you’d defend our civil rights
And misappropriations would be dead
(You do? Well…)
All I remember is the lies you told bold faced
As your crazy explanations all did fail
Or how you went and slept with all your mistress’
As you claimed you were hiking on a trail

Now please don’t think I’m ranting cus I’m bitter
I wish somebody new would right your wrongs
But if only your name rhymed with lying, thieving whore
I’d have a great idea for a song (for a song)

Remember how Utopia was within reach
And change was the thing that we all need
Remember how you said you’d never raise our taxes
And all the starving children you would feed
(You do? Well…)
All I remember is your hand deep within my pocket
As the unions kept crying out for more
All I remember is your lying about being told
That interrogators loved to use torture

Now please don’t think that this is all party ties
I think both of you in jail belong
And if only your name rhymed with embezzling, pork barrel
I’d have a great idea for a song

Oh, your name…. might as well
Rhyme with slattern who should be in jail
Cuz of all the bills you vote on to waste my time
Oh, if only your mom and dad
Had named you something that rhymed with “squawking, hawking, tax like mad”
Think of all the cleaver puns that I would find

Cuz Cantwell rhymes with for sell
And Boxer rhymes with stocks skewer
And Bunning rhymes with pun zing
And Corker rhymes with porker

John McCain rhymes with has no brain
And Kennedy rhymes with end of free
And Jo Bonner rhymes with dishonor
And Crapo rhymes with Crap-o

Nancy Pelosi rhymes with “Bela Lugosi”
Charles E. Schumer rhymes with “Snarls at humor”
Kay Bailey Hutchison rhymes with “Slay Daily with a gun”
I’d pay to change your name to Tim Nezzle

Remember when your latest bill of steaming crap
Got vetoed right before the campaign
Remember when you told us you heard the mandate
And begged us to re-elect you once again
(You do? Well….)
All I remember is that dogs return to vomit
That happens to be stuck to my shoe
I’d rather vote for Joseph Stalin for mayor
Than take another session stuck with you

Now please don’t think I want your good favor now
I’d rather gargle acid all day long
But if only your name rhymed with back-stabbing commie skank
I’d have a great idea for a song
Yes, if only your name rhymed with pork barreling conniving whore
I’d have a great idea for a song
Yeah if only your name rhymed with worthless, cheating, carpet bagging, life sucking, pimply, sucky, slutty, groper of the flesh of interns that makes me want to donate my entire life savings to Amway in the hopes that someday they’ll make a lie detector that is portable and can tell when your lying from a mile
I’d have a great idea for a song