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Song Parodies -> "Smoking!"
Original Song Title:
"What Is This Feeling?"
Original Performer:
Wicked: The Musical
Parody Song Title:
"Smoking!"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
[spoken]
GALYMPHOMA:
I rest here in the glummest of hospitals.
EMPHYSEMA:
With throat cancer.
[music starts]
BOTH:
I had the illusion that smoking was the ish.
EMPHYSEMA:
But of course, I learned a lesson.
GALYMPHOMA:
Now I'm hoarse and tired of huffin'.
BOTH:
For I smoked a pack a day to look s*** hot.
Now I need a blood transfusion.
And this voice-box is a bitch!
GALYMPHOMA:
At-least-I'm-still-exceedingly-popular-in-cowboy-leather
With-hotties-all-by-my-siiide...
EMPHYSEMA:
...not.
[iron-lung instrumental]
GALYMPHOMA:
My tongue is peeling,
It's bloody and blue.
EMPHYSEMA:
I spit black foam up,
It tastes just like spew.
GALYMPHOMA:
My mouth is yucky.
EMPHYSEMA:
My teeth are greening.
GALYMPHOMA:
They taste disgusting.
BOTH:
My gums are bleeding!
Pharynx is decayin'.
Smoked like a gas main.
YECCCCHHH!!!
Smoking!
Bloody hell I hate it, smoking!
GALYMPHOMA:
What disgrace!
EMPHYSEMA:
It's gross!
GALYMPHOMA:
I'm choking!
BOTH:
Twelve a day?
Let's smoke some more!
Every single day I draw and draw
My eyes start to itch, my throat gets sore
From stinkin' rotten smoking.
Such a dangerous inhalation!
Causing throat disintegration!
Immature and wrong!
Oh, I'll try to quit... then raid through trash,
Searching for a butt to lick the ash!
All because of smoking tobacco,
I've spoiled... my... lungs!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Our cylinders of tar taste so good!
You can't get cancer lighting sticks of soot!
That's an error! Utter garbage! We-don't-mean-to-sound-all-pious,
But our products won't cause carnage!
GALYMPHOMA:
You...wea...sels...are...stin...king...li...ars!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Though a million users have died.
It's something execs must have denied.
We just want to sell our menthol lites worldwiiide!
So we're all...
BOTH:
Smoking!
Gutteral speaking, my blood strains to flow!
(Tar gets caked on haemoglobins!)
You smell this odour? They give me BO!
(Throat now smoulders. Great, I'm croaking!)
My pulse starts rushing, my head starts reeling!
(Man, it tastes like gross manure!)
Oh, I know this feeling! Buzz from nicotine!
Movie scripts get payed... making smokes looks fresh?
Damned haute couture!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Yeeesss!
BOTH:
Noooooo!
Smoking!
Fingers stained, so they look Asian!
Artificial respiration?
My poor old lungs!
Oh, I tried to quit... but wait, alas!
Now I am addicted to the patch!
How silly...
ALL:
Smoking! (Smoking's awful? Never!)
Smoking! (Smoking!)
It aint cheap, see! (Smoking!)
Coughing goo! (So?)
Wide holes in luuungs!
Smoking!
Need to stay away from smoking!
[proffers a carton of cigarettes]
EMPHYSEMA:
Smoke?
GALYMPHOMA:
AARGH!
GALYMPHOMA:
I rest here in the glummest of hospitals.
EMPHYSEMA:
With throat cancer.
[music starts]
BOTH:
I had the illusion that smoking was the ish.
EMPHYSEMA:
But of course, I learned a lesson.
GALYMPHOMA:
Now I'm hoarse and tired of huffin'.
BOTH:
For I smoked a pack a day to look s*** hot.
Now I need a blood transfusion.
And this voice-box is a bitch!
GALYMPHOMA:
At-least-I'm-still-exceedingly-popular-in-cowboy-leather
With-hotties-all-by-my-siiide...
EMPHYSEMA:
...not.
[iron-lung instrumental]
GALYMPHOMA:
My tongue is peeling,
It's bloody and blue.
EMPHYSEMA:
I spit black foam up,
It tastes just like spew.
GALYMPHOMA:
My mouth is yucky.
EMPHYSEMA:
My teeth are greening.
GALYMPHOMA:
They taste disgusting.
BOTH:
My gums are bleeding!
Pharynx is decayin'.
Smoked like a gas main.
YECCCCHHH!!!
Smoking!
Bloody hell I hate it, smoking!
GALYMPHOMA:
What disgrace!
EMPHYSEMA:
It's gross!
GALYMPHOMA:
I'm choking!
BOTH:
Twelve a day?
Let's smoke some more!
Every single day I draw and draw
My eyes start to itch, my throat gets sore
From stinkin' rotten smoking.
Such a dangerous inhalation!
Causing throat disintegration!
Immature and wrong!
Oh, I'll try to quit... then raid through trash,
Searching for a butt to lick the ash!
All because of smoking tobacco,
I've spoiled... my... lungs!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Our cylinders of tar taste so good!
You can't get cancer lighting sticks of soot!
That's an error! Utter garbage! We-don't-mean-to-sound-all-pious,
But our products won't cause carnage!
GALYMPHOMA:
You...wea...sels...are...stin...king...li...ars!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Though a million users have died.
It's something execs must have denied.
We just want to sell our menthol lites worldwiiide!
So we're all...
BOTH:
Smoking!
Gutteral speaking, my blood strains to flow!
(Tar gets caked on haemoglobins!)
You smell this odour? They give me BO!
(Throat now smoulders. Great, I'm croaking!)
My pulse starts rushing, my head starts reeling!
(Man, it tastes like gross manure!)
Oh, I know this feeling! Buzz from nicotine!
Movie scripts get payed... making smokes looks fresh?
Damned haute couture!
TOBACCO COMPANIES:
Yeeesss!
BOTH:
Noooooo!
Smoking!
Fingers stained, so they look Asian!
Artificial respiration?
My poor old lungs!
Oh, I tried to quit... but wait, alas!
Now I am addicted to the patch!
How silly...
ALL:
Smoking! (Smoking's awful? Never!)
Smoking! (Smoking!)
It aint cheap, see! (Smoking!)
Coughing goo! (So?)
Wide holes in luuungs!
Smoking!
Need to stay away from smoking!
[proffers a carton of cigarettes]
EMPHYSEMA:
Smoke?
GALYMPHOMA:
AARGH!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 3 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 4 | 4 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 16 | 15 |
User Comments
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JARLB, nice ta see ya again! (Many, many femmy-nany rhymes in TT stuff since ya were here last.)..... TTTBF (too true to be funny). DKTOS, but do have a colleague who just went through that - throat cancer - laryngectomy and all. Doing well now, voice is sorta back... but gutsy truths here. I'll trust you on the pacing and give 5 cancer sticks.
If you start the audio where I have [music starts], it's pretty easy to follow... the instrumental break should orientate you into the pacing of the following lines. Anyway, thanks for peepin'!
(SOTM) DKTOS, and it was too hard to follow with the audio. But you had some funny lyrics., though. 344
(SOTM) I can't follow this MIDI either...I trust your pacing...excellent wordage as usual.
This was cool, I sang it in my head, I had a few hangups but they were bery minor, ^ ^ I've had "Loathing" stuck in my head all day so I had no trouble following it! I have to say, good job with the tobacco companies! Very good!
(SOTM) Couldn't really follow the MIDI, but this was really cool and creative. And true!
(SOTM) This parody is smokin'! "Cylinders of tar", heh heh. Very well written.
(SOTM) This is a graphic parody of the dangers of smoking. It's also a good sucker punch at the tobacco companies.
The Marablo Man gets kicked in the balls
(SOTM) *Holds up fired up lighter*
(SOTM) It's true. On the negative side, it's not a good idea to parody a song from a musical and providing a half-second mp3. On the positive side, you tackled the issue of smoking. Nice work, Luke.
SOTM-Alright
(SOTM) Well-written but funny. 555
(SOTm) I know I read and commented on this before; must have been on the duplicate you deleted. Anywoo, nice work, and duelling cancers for vocals is one of the more bizarre ideas I've seen.
(SOTM) Puff The Magic Dragon would approve!
Found it hard to follow on the mp3 (basically, I got lost right away) - it's always a problem with midi, I've found (unless you know the song to start with). But you had me at the character names :-)
(SOTM) yes, the character names...something about a prolonged dialogue between Gali and someone called Emi, and Asian fingers, reminds me of something else - stay out there, Luke, wombat dude - 555
(SOTM) Very fascinating and interesting, fives
SOTM...you know, I've never needed anyone to talk me out of picking up the smoking habit...but if I ever do, I'm going to remember this parody. Nice PSA, Luke...
...Oh, and, for the record, "And this voice-box is a bitch!" made me dribble my morning OJ down my chin...hee! =)
...Oh, and, for the record, "And this voice-box is a bitch!" made me dribble my morning OJ down my chin...hee! =)
(SOTM) This is interesting... and I'm not just blowing smoke either.
LOL!!!! i LOVE this...but of corse i don't smoke. keep up the good work.
I loved your song. This was the first song I ever sang on this site. P.S. If anyone ever sees any of my aongs on here... check 'em out.
I loved it. I have NEVER had the urge to smoke, and this will most definately stop any urge I ever get. In an entertaining way. Byt the way, chenck out Green Queens latest parody in the Grease (musicla) section. It is about Idina!
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