Dressing like Milton Berle
I thought that it was cool from what I saw on TV
Told my roommate named Earl
He's a manicurist, asked if he could do nails for me
He turned and said, "What are you, gay?"
I said, "I don't think so, do you think this makes me?"
Clean my face with the Oil of Olay
Wear Stiletto heels and both my feet they are aching, now

Red wig in a 'tail
Yellow gold on my fingers and some knee-high stockings
I spray myself with Chanel
I take etiquette classes cause I need help walking
When I go out a hide my face
I need to keep away from the paparazzi
They are trying to discriminate
It doesn't bother me, but I consider them Nazis, now

A-a-a-a-a-a-ah, A-a-a-a-a-a-ah
A-a-a-a-a-a-ah, A-a-a-a-a-a-ah

I asked this guy for some cab fare
He said he's rich and he'd like a house call
I said, "Don't care if you're a millionaire,
I'm not that type of girl, in fact I'm not a girl at all"

I was walking the beat
Still dressed as a woman and I might've been drinking
Saw this girl on the street
Saw a lump in her throat and I got to thinking
I stared and said, "Is that you, Steve?"
He said, "Yeah, keep it down, and please don't tell my family"
I am shocked because I can't believe
I was doing this for fun but Steve is addicted badly, now

A-a-a-a-a-a-ah, A-a-a-a-a-a-ah
A-a-a-a-a-a-ah, A-a-a-a-a-a-ah

But there's no shame in what we love
And I love the feel of silk, has to be tight-fitting
Only when I go out to the club
I have to remember to cross when I'm sitting, now