I'll turn the Telly off
cause tennis drives me barmy and that contest's back
I just don't wana watch
but every time they will show a match
And though footballs generally all sh!te
I just seem to forget
here's a sport three times worse
with a match, game and set

And the message comin' from my eyes says leave it alone...

Don't wanna hear about it
Every damn nation's but ours does very well
you'd think we know about it
there's the worst of England up on Henman hill
And he won't catch it when it comes his way
you gotta serve not too lose
And the Canada jokes we hear
aren't the ones I'll do

And the crowd they cheer but still they know ,says time to go...

I'm going to Wimbledon
where cream and strawberries costs evermore
I'm watching centre court
watching tennis, now I'm getting bored
And I'm leaving, and I'm leaving, and I'm leaving
and I'll go to Lords
cause I've heard cricket's less dull you see
but I'm not very sure

it's a strain but it's understood, tells me "pub is closed"...