-> "Bake Me a Burning Ham"
Original Song Title:
"Paint Me a Birmingham" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Bake Me a Burning Ham"
Parody Written by:
Sideshow Bob Viering
Bake Me A Burning Ham
Music by Tracy Lawrence
Lyrics by Sideshow Bob Viering
Inspired by my daughter Vivian. Dedicated to my wife, Patti (though NOT inspired by her - no, not at all!)
She was standing there, with whisk in hand -
mixing up some stuff that looked like dirty sand.
With every stroke, she brought to mind,
the sickening aroma of a sulphur mine.
I asked her if she often cooked with motor oil.
She said "we're out of Crisco - it'll be good when it boils."
Then she baked me a burning ham
Not too good, not the way I planned
A little dry and tough to get down
Charred edges all the way around
She put a big plate in front of me
I couldn't leave, couldn't make a plea
I fed the dog and he even ran
I had to eat the whole burning ham
She looked at me, as I ate the meat
as if to ask if ever I'd had such a treat
I coughed a bit, and choked and gagged
and told her I would really love a doggie bag.
And I said you may not believe my claim
but that's the best darn meal you've ever made.
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|How Funny: ||3.7|
|Overall Rating: ||4.3|
|Total Votes: ||3|
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