I had an accident, I crapped my pants.
It was the runny kind,
I didn't stand a chance.
I was in the dressing room, in the middle of kmart.
I felt my stomach churning,
I thought it was just some gas.

Then I crapped my pants, in the middle of Kmart.
I didn't know I was pooping,
I thought it was just a fart.
I would do anything,
For some clean underwear.
Because I could not believe,I took a crap right in K-Mart.

I snuck out of the dressing room, and headed for mens wear,
Found some fruit of the looms,
And started to get the hell out of there.
I thought the coast was clear, the front door wasn't far.
But I was apprehended,
By the store Security Guard, (and I told him)

I crapped my pants, in the middle of Kmart.
I didn't know I was pooping,
Until it got out too far,
I got 30 days,
For shoplifting that underwear.
Because the Judge would not believe,
I took a crap right in K-Mart......

I had another accident, while in jail serving my 30..
It seems my rather large cell-mate,
Would not respect my virginity.