Pick the office slag
When you go
To the Christmas party
You want half a chance
To get laid.. before you depart-ee

Take the office bag
When you go
To the office "Frisco Disco" party
Why eat finger buffets
When you can
Can go a la cart-ie


Take the office slag
Though she looks a hag
Like a guy in drag
At the office party

Take the office slag
And a paper bag
If you want a shag
At the office party

Take the office slag
Handcuffs and a gag
And the Belgian flag
At the office party

Take the office slag
Though her titties sag
And brother! does she nag
At the office party

[Freestyled ad lib sort of bit]
Goin' down!
At the office
At the office
[etc.]

Take the office slag
And a porno mag
Then rut like a stag
At the office party

Just think about her nude
And you will succumb to temptation
And lose yourself in the sensation
Just a single drunken aberration
At the office of your corporation
Have a shag on the photocopier
Which has a warmth and good vibration
(But do put a condom on
To try to prevent unwanted replication)
Or some other work location
To relieve your sexual frustration
If you require alcoholic relaxation
Or some illegal medication
To help you over your trepidation
I'm not trying to say there's an obligation
Just some dedication
To office party fornication


Take the office slag
For a damn long shag
So that you can brag
At the office party