I’m gonna buy some crap
The Salvation Army Store is where it’s at
Just look at all this crap
I’m gonna take it all of the rack
And I’m looking up and down the aisle for some under wear
Some pairs have been over worn, but oh the dime I’ll spare
Despite the brown spots in the seat, I take it them home

Don’t want to spend my cash
From Areo to Abercrombie and Fitch
I might get a rash
But what do I look like to you…rich?
And all the kids are making fun of me for the way I dress
The spot where it looks like I peed but I really couldn’t cared less
Then the principal says “change close or go back home”

I’m gonna volunteer
In front of that busy shopping mall
It’s cold out here
And there’s icicles forming off my balls
And I’m ringing, and I’m dinging, and I’m jingling my jingle bells
All the jolly carols will be singed by me until time will tell
I’ll simile if you drop in a penny, but I really want to go home