Going back to my doctor
I said, "Listen, you
Gotta help me with a problem here
'Cause I have great big boobs"

Yeah they're so large and rounded
I can't fit them in my hands
And the people turn and stare at me
And they wonder what I am

Some laugh and think it's funny
I don't understand
I'm a bloke
I'm just another normal man

It makes me feel so tense
Doc, what can I do?
When Dolly Parton envies me
That's when I know I'm screwed

'Cause I'm not just an A cup, I'm well beyond double-D
And I would like to get treatment, I don't care what's the fee
So that guys won't stare at my chest in the locker room stalls
And people will not have to guess if I have or don't have balls

I've got big boobies
Great big boobies

The doctor said
Maybe lose some weight
I said, don't you call me fat
It's not from things I ate

Then he said well, maybe
Take some hormone pills
You need more testosterone
This will help, it surely will

'Cause I'm not just an A cup, I'm well beyond double-D
And I would like to get treatment, I don't care what's the fee
So that guys won't stare at my chest in the locker room stalls
And people will not have to guess if I have or don't have balls

I've got big boobies
Great big boobies
Massive boobies
Giant boobies

Maybe I'll go Guinness
As the man who has big boobs
And then some girl who likes them
Will see me on the news
And my new flat-chested princess
Will love everything I do

'Cause I'm the man who has big boobs
I'm the man who has big boobs

Now I'm not just an A cup, I'm well beyond double-D
Maybe I won't need that treatement, it'll save me the fee
'Cause this girl, who's just an A-cup, loves the way that I am
And she would do anything for a loving, busty man

With big boobies
Great big boobies
Massive boobies
Giant boobies

Oh, forget about the doctor
Hey punk, listen you
I will beat you up if you make fun of my massive boobs....