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Song Parodies -> "Zipper Song"

Original Song Title:

"Zephyr Song"

Original Performer:

The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Parody Song Title:

"Zipper Song"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

When I try to get my pants on
There's a thing I need to keep the thing on
Something quicker than a button
Maybe you think you're a titan
But that thing will put a play, on you
Bringing you a lousy day

Every gal and every feller
Be they rural or ur-ban-ite dweller
I predict like Uri Geller
That this zipper makes them beller
Pull it up it will get stuck to you
Take that piece and rip it off

Pull away on that zipper
You tug and tug that lever
When it is colder weather
That thing should keep together
Keep on...tryin'

Be a waiter or ice skater
Gotta zip it now, not later
When you go out on a bender
They will ask "are you a hot dog vendor?"
Take a look, you're on display--hey dude
Gotta zip your fly today

Pull it up now, your zipper
Slide the teeth, grab the gripper
'Cause in inclement weather
Works better than rope tether
Got a problem? Maybe you can use a lotion
So the tool can start to glide
Pull up there on that zipper
It makes you feel so chipper!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa--yes you
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Who whoa whoa whoa whoa--must do
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I must repair this zipper
I messed up, it's a nipper
What happened to Ben Stiller
Is now a real life thriller!
Please no laughter
Please don't start a big commotion
Oh the pain, it makes me cry
No thanks to my zipper
I feel just like Jack Tripper

I whimper
Copyright 2011, Agrimorfee. And so begins my third decade in the art of parody writing.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 03, 2011 - Report this comment
This is VERY clever and funny. My aunt used to make costumes for circus animals. I once watched her make pants for the elephants, complete with zippers. To paraphrase Dumbo..."I do believe I've seen everything now that I've seen an elephant's fly!" ;D
Matthias - January 03, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm a big fan of this original song and I cannot think of zippers without that Ben Stiller scene in "Something About Mary". There actually were a lot of sick and twisted scenes in that film. Like the hair gel scene. Anyways, Good parody.
Blaydeman - January 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You know what's funny Matty? "Something About Mary" popped into my head first too, LOL! This parody is also very funny.
Below Average Dave - January 15, 2011 - Report this comment
This one. . .Agri. . .gelled so well for me, the rhyming and pacing were absolutely magnificent, written masterfully, funny, and just went along to TOS so well. . .absolutely awesome
bobpiecheese - January 22, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Clearly I must be using a different version of the OS, because the pacing for the second line of the first two paragraphs and the fourth line of the fourth paragraph are way out. My version is clearly missing five or so syllables for those lines. Besides that, this parody was great, nice job on coming up with all of those words to rhyme with "zipper". Good thing the comments explained the Ben Stiller gag, cuz I haven't seen that film. Still don't get the Jack Tripper line, though that's not your bad. 555 for you!
Agrimorfee - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
For Tcop and other overseas readers--Jack Tripper was the character played by John Ritter in the sitcom "Three's Company", who often got into slapstick predicaments such as the one described in the parody.
Rex - January 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) The last verse brings back some painful memories. Now go forth and write the sequel -- "Zip it. Zip it good!" Funny idea, really liked the call outs to Geller and Stiller and Tripper.
Blaydeman - September 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Hey Matty, on my "Stalker" parody, you had said you had never seen "Something About Mary" and this parody came out before that one.
Porfle Popnecker - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
This was really fly.
Matthias - September 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Blayde... I haven't seen it since I was like 10 so I don't remember other than a few of the huge important scenes in it.
Mark Scotti - October 01, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) That was sooo creative and woderfully paced. Loved(and squirmed) at the Ben Stiller reference. 555 intermeshed zipper teeth!
Blaydeman - October 02, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Even more hilarious the second time around! Love it!
Abbott Skelding - October 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Never thought I'd read a really, really good parody about a zipper, but I'll give you 555 just for the Ben Stiller reference and I'll try not to squirm thinking about it too much.
bobpiecheese - October 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above (minus the Jack Tripper thing, since you explained that)!
D-Mon - October 13, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Oooh! painfully good.
Below Average Dave - October 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Yep, see above:)
paul robinson - September 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Agri - you posted this one several years after I departed the Amiright scene. I can feel the pull of this one even today. 5's

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