Where have all the students gone,
Long time passing.
Where have all the students gone,
Long time ago.
Where have all the students gone,
They've dropped out of the music course, everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all music graduates gone,
After passing?
Where have all music graduates gone,
Where did they go?
Where have all music graduates gone,
They've gone into retail, everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where do all the waiters come from,
After passing?
Each has paid their top-up fees,
Along time ago.
Where do all the waiters come from,
They come from Coombehurst, everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where do all the barmaids come from,
After passing?
Where do all the barmaids come from,
When they need some dough?
Where do all the barmaids come from,
They come from Kingston Hill, everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where do all sex workers come from,
While their studying?
Where do all sex workers come from,
Yeah, they sure earn their dough.
Where do all sex workers come from,
They come from Kingston Uni, everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Who is singing in the pubs for free,
After graduation?
Who is singing in the pubs for free,
And begging friends to go.
Who is singing in the pubs for free,
Music graduates just like me.
When will I ever learn?
When will I ever learn?

Where do illiterate grads come from,
Though they're passing?
Where do illiterate grads come from,
Where will they go?
Where do illiterate grads come from,
The School of PASS passes everyone,
Even if they never learn.
Even if they never learn.

Where have all music postgrads gone,
After passing?
Where have all music postgrads gone,
After their degree show?
Where have all music postgrads gone,
They've gone for a PGCE, everyone.
Because they didn't learn.
Because they didn't learn.

It says "with distinction" on my degree,
Not just passing.
It says "with distinction" on my degree,
Well done, you know.
It says "with distinction" on my degree,
But now good undergrad programs won't accept me.
I guess I didn't learn.
I guess I didn't learn.

They get nothing back for time they spent,
Without learning.
They get nothing back for time they spent,
Except lack of dough.
They get nothing back for time they spent,
But Tony and Gordon get their 50 percent.
Higher Ed's not for everyone,
It's not for everyone.

Where have so many good staff gone,
Long time passing?
Where have so many good staff gone,
Long time ago?
Where have so many good staff gone,
They've run from the bully mob, everyone.
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?