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Song Parodies -> "Eggnog Was Tossed, It Makes Me Pout"
Original Song Title:
"My Dog Was Lost, But Now He's Found"
Original Performer:
The Fiery Furnaces
Parody Song Title:
"Eggnog Was Tossed, It Makes Me Pout"
Parody Written by:
Matthias
The Lyrics
This is for Peter Andersson's ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge (Week 10) hosted once again by Agrimorfee! Even though Halloween was only 3 days ago (by the time of this posting) There's no time like the present to bring you an early Christmas themed parody! A anti-tribute to the worst drink in existence!
Won't pick eggnog
I turn green when it is poured
That messy slime is gunk that's abhored
Think it's delish.... Then your mind's dim, You dork!
Made my blender go splat and I wrecked my whole flat
That crap made me wet when it shot off like a jet
Eggnog just sucks, It makes me frown
Eggnog is junk since now I'm doused!
You gave me a jar and I'm mentally scarred
You mixed it with gin but the outcome's still grim
Eggnog I tossed, It makes me pout
Eggnog is crossed off my list now
Go pump in some rum but still the flavour leaves me numb
My tongue will stay dryer since I won't be a buyer
Eggnog is chucked right to the ground
Eggnog's such muck won't touch an ounce
That drink I won't order because of the odour
You unveiled the Smirnoff but it still was a turnoff
Eggnog has struck my aching mouth
Eggnog's just drunk by hicks down south
The scent has me "Pee-Ew!" from my party it's removed!
It wrecks every Christmas Day worse than that sh*t fruitcake
Eggnog's like rotten sauerkraut
Eggnog's like snot from a pig snout
Tried to drown it with bourbon but that cup was still a burden
In your snow-covered cottage I was trapped just like a hostage
Eggnog's like butt on a dachshund
Eggnog is fought so it's not downed!
How did this garbage come from cream? One sip will make me scream
I griped so much but no one listened, They gave me that ooze that glistened
Eggnog's a blot and makes me shout!
Eggnog is stomped into the grout!
I pity the poor cow that's used to make me scowl
You're gonna hear me growl cause this beverage is foul
Eggnog's low-cost and you'll get plowed
Eggnog's that sauce that thins the crowd
Nog makes me purge, It's gross and white
Here till Easter, friend, That lard is such a fright
I tried eggnog: It knocked out my lights
Egg holocaust is so unsound!
I turn green when it is poured
That messy slime is gunk that's abhored
Think it's delish.... Then your mind's dim, You dork!
Made my blender go splat and I wrecked my whole flat
That crap made me wet when it shot off like a jet
Eggnog just sucks, It makes me frown
Eggnog is junk since now I'm doused!
You gave me a jar and I'm mentally scarred
You mixed it with gin but the outcome's still grim
Eggnog I tossed, It makes me pout
Eggnog is crossed off my list now
Go pump in some rum but still the flavour leaves me numb
My tongue will stay dryer since I won't be a buyer
Eggnog is chucked right to the ground
Eggnog's such muck won't touch an ounce
That drink I won't order because of the odour
You unveiled the Smirnoff but it still was a turnoff
Eggnog has struck my aching mouth
Eggnog's just drunk by hicks down south
The scent has me "Pee-Ew!" from my party it's removed!
It wrecks every Christmas Day worse than that sh*t fruitcake
Eggnog's like rotten sauerkraut
Eggnog's like snot from a pig snout
Tried to drown it with bourbon but that cup was still a burden
In your snow-covered cottage I was trapped just like a hostage
Eggnog's like butt on a dachshund
Eggnog is fought so it's not downed!
How did this garbage come from cream? One sip will make me scream
I griped so much but no one listened, They gave me that ooze that glistened
Eggnog's a blot and makes me shout!
Eggnog is stomped into the grout!
I pity the poor cow that's used to make me scowl
You're gonna hear me growl cause this beverage is foul
Eggnog's low-cost and you'll get plowed
Eggnog's that sauce that thins the crowd
Nog makes me purge, It's gross and white
Here till Easter, friend, That lard is such a fright
I tried eggnog: It knocked out my lights
Egg holocaust is so unsound!
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Would you for some mulled cider, then? Happy holidays! 555
Man, Jonathan ain't gonna like this one!
What sort of MONSTER doesn't like eggnog??? Other than my wife, I mean. Seriously, though, lots of fun rhyming here -- and I'm in total agreement on the sauerkraut point; it's like someone told someone else they couldn't make cabbage more nasty, and they were like "wanna bet?". Anyway, good job man. This OWN stuff is fun.
Fun for the whole noggin, and this was my favorite passage:
That drink I won't order because of the odour
You unveiled the Smirnoff but it still was a turnoff
That drink I won't order because of the odour
You unveiled the Smirnoff but it still was a turnoff
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