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Song Parodies -> "My Casting Couch, They've Worn It Down"

Original Song Title:

"My Dog Was Lost, But Now He's Found"

Original Performer:

The Fiery Furnaces

Parody Song Title:

"My Casting Couch, They've Worn It Down"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Don't let the somewhat NSFW title fool you, all is not what it seams (pun intended) and experienced parody connoisseurs might figure that out already ahead of the last line.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
I kicked them out
I won't try this shit no more
I mopped the wet hairs up off the floor
I'll safely say I've no claps heretofore

I've tried with funny hats
And I've tried with wetted cats
I've worked up a sweat
Made a clip with a baguette
My casting couch, they've worn it down
The tails there seen; white/yellow/brown

I've stuck them cigars
And I've grabbed cookie jars
The acting was dim
But I got 'em on all four limbs
My casting couch, they've worn it down
The camera did add twenty pounds

I let in some sun
An' they were purring one-on-one
I broght in a hire
'Cos I know I had to try her
My casting couch, they've worn it down
They're slyly called, the Weinstein farm

In March they got naughty
And balled a puppy corgi
A butchered audition
From any low position
My casting couch, they've worn it down
'Cos mostly they just sleep around

I shot from a side view
It got messed up like Yahoo
I nagged for some double play
Had them rip up some lingerie
My casting couch, they've worn it down
I gave one too the landlord's son

When one fell to the carpet
I jumped up but I sharked it
Then they clawed up the bedhead
Turned it to a pussy scratch pad
My casting couch, they've worn it down
Come Christmas sale I'm purrchase bound

I shot a ginger with my niece
And neither looked at ease
I booted them with a pistol
Put some scum in Pax Vobiscum
My mental health, was breaking down
I don't think they'll be coming 'round

My family disavowed
Though I had them declawed
Directorially unsound
Started chase them around
My casting couch, they've worn it down
My net results; no footage sound

I tipped the couch, the star I'd smite
The cam'ra went dead and I gave up the fight
I got no clip, but I sleep there now
This LOL-cats plan I'm closing down!

© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   2
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - November 03, 2017 - Report this comment
OK, so this is the chronicle of a YouTuber trying to make a viral cute animal video and getting nowhere, amiright? Very sophisticated writing, deserves a second read.
Matthias - November 03, 2017 - Report this comment
A little too poetic for me because I understand that words were being said but for the life of me I had no idea what any of them meant. As Agrimorfee said this is very sophisticated writing. I'll have decipher this at a later time.
Peter Andersson - November 03, 2017 - Report this comment
Yes Agrimorfee, your analysis is spot on! The director/narrator here is working with cats (and one corgi, for a discrete interracial relations joke) and you know what they say about herding cats. I actually wrote the last four lines first, to see if I could end the idea with that revelation. Most everything up to that was then written intended to have or set up a double interpretation, though "tails there seen" and "purrchase" and such are clues.

I once described one of my favorite writing techniques as sorta kinda putting two (or more) Meme/Theme Venn Diagrams over each other so that my muse can grab from all sides and compose something in the middle. Not that it always works, but when it does you get one of these parodies, with or without a punchline.
Matthias - November 03, 2017 - Report this comment
Coming back to this with new information in mind and I really do like this one a lot! A LOL-cat photographer but written as a pornographer is a brilliant switch! Something so innocent disguised as being dirty is genius!
Claude Prez - November 03, 2017 - Report this comment
Yeah I have to admit I'm glad I got to read the expository comment section; was a little lost on first read (I'm not the quickest thinker though). Very clever in the end though; liked the "purrchase" pun especially.

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