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Song Parodies -> "Crazy Cow Therapist"

Original Song Title:

"Do I Make You Proud?"

Original Performer:

Taylor Hicks

Parody Song Title:

"Crazy Cow Therapist"

Parody Written by:

Jon Rames

The Lyrics

I've never been
Your average therapist
How can I be?
I don't treat any men
All I want to do
Is help the animals

The call came in
At a quarter after two
The herd's gone nuts
We don't know what to do
Each one of these
Cows are crazy
And you're our only hope now

This is what they called me for
And I don't have any doubt
That I can help these cows
I'm the only one they've got now
Will try every Freudian technique out
To try to help these cows!

They won't stand still,
Respect they do not show
Just an udder day,
Using everything I know
Try to pick their brains
They won't respond to me
Seems they're too slow,
For advanced psychology

This is what they called me for
But they've got me wondering how
That I can help these cows?
Trying every trick in the book now
But there's nothing working out
I need to help these cows

Every cow just needs to calm down
Every cow needs to be drugged, to be drugged!

Gather all the cows around
It is coming clear to me now
I can help these, I can help these cows!

This is what I came here for
Get my prescription pad out now
So I can help these cows
Each one of them gets a pill
Wellbutrin should make them chill
I'm going to drug these cows

This is what they called me for
Everyone can sleep better now
Since I've helped these cows
Smarter than I've ever been
Never been afraid of selling out
Just to help the cows

This why I come around
Nobody can ever doubt me now
Because I helped them
Yes I cured those cows

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ravyn Rant - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I've been trying to make TOS funny since it came out with little luck. You seemed to manage it just fine. "Every cow needs to calm be drugged" made me laugh so hard I choked on my pretzel. (Oh, great, a Dubya moment.) The pacing was a bit off in spots, but what the hay. You moooved me, as Paula Adbull would say. ;)
iisryan - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
lol, Crazy Cow Therapist strikes again! How exactly did you get in on the joke? Are you a WOWAY member?
daniel - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
weird al's is way better not just better but WAY better!
callseba - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
this is so much better than weird al's version, he should have used your lyrics. this is a perfect foil for an over-written, over-wrought song like DIMYP. very moooving!
Darth Purple - December 25, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm such a fan of Taylor Hicks, but I really loved your parody! Awesome, dude! *high five*

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