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Song Parodies -> "Straight"
Original Song Title:
"Gay"
Original Performer:
Stephen Lynch
Parody Song Title:
"Straight"
Parody Written by:
Immoral Liberal
The Lyrics
It's a true story... though not mine.
Here we are, straight girlfriend:
You and me--stoned again.
Munchies we've had left crumbs in my bed.
Maybe this weed kicked me in my head,
But if I were straight, I would play with your skirt,
And if I were straight, when you'd tease, I would flirt,
And if I were straight I would have cause to leer;
But I'm not straight, so quit unhooking your brassiere.
You're beautiful, I swear--it's true!
It's just that my thing's not for you.
It wouldn't seem to me that obscene
If you stood me up now... if you know what I mean,
'Cause if I were straight, I would make you my goal,
And if I were straight, I would play with your... whole body,
And if I were straight, I'd show you a ring trick;
But I'm not straight, so won't you stop stroking my... hair?
("It's PG, y'know?")
I've never thought I'd steal a kiss,
Or share my sheets with you like this;
Or ever seen this side of yours.
Get over here; crawl on... all... fooouuurrrs!
You and me--stoned again.
Munchies we've had left crumbs in my bed.
Maybe this weed kicked me in my head,
But if I were straight, I would play with your skirt,
And if I were straight, when you'd tease, I would flirt,
And if I were straight I would have cause to leer;
But I'm not straight, so quit unhooking your brassiere.
You're beautiful, I swear--it's true!
It's just that my thing's not for you.
It wouldn't seem to me that obscene
If you stood me up now... if you know what I mean,
'Cause if I were straight, I would make you my goal,
And if I were straight, I would play with your... whole body,
And if I were straight, I'd show you a ring trick;
But I'm not straight, so won't you stop stroking my... hair?
("It's PG, y'know?")
I've never thought I'd steal a kiss,
Or share my sheets with you like this;
Or ever seen this side of yours.
Get over here; crawl on... all... fooouuurrrs!
This is based on the version sung on The Bob & Tom Show.
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User Comments
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Hey Lib - Good job, and you have a great screen name. Depending on your politics, your moniker can be either a redundancy or an oxymoron! ;D
Send her my way...
At least your character admits it, unlike this one in total denial:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2302.shtml
@ OMR: It's a tautology. :-D
At least your character admits it, unlike this one in total denial:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2302.shtml
@ OMR: It's a tautology. :-D
Too late, Tommy. If you understand the context, the guy's telling you she's taken...
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