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Song Parodies -> "Whatever Happened To My Arse?"

Original Song Title:

"Whatever Happened To My Part?"

Original Performer:

Spamalot - The Lady Of The Lake

Parody Song Title:

"Whatever Happened To My Arse?"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I was (very!) fortunate to have passed on to me a ticket for Spamalot, currently running at the Palace Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue. A marvellous production which I can recommend to anybody with a sense of humour, Python fan or not. Even better, there's a MIDI/MP3 here (though neither has a vocal line, so if you DKTOS you may just have to wait until it gets recorded)
Whatever happened to my arse?
It was petite, but now it's vast
But I'm afraid that I don't know
Exactly what has made it grow

Obesity ain't what it's called:
Not overweight: I'm under-tall
It's so bad, I can't ignore it
Things are going into orbit
Around me as I look down there, aghast
Whatever happened to my arse?

And so thick has been my rear
Children point and laugh and jeer
They should fear because there's one thing that I know
Oh yes, it is true, no bull
That the gravitational pull
Means my backside's like a black (well, dark brown) hole
..dark brown hole

Whatever happened to my jeans?
I fret that I might split the seams
When I move - that's how they feel
Though they're reinforced with steel

The earth would shake, were I to jump
'Cause of my asteroid-sized rump
If I shake it, there's a whoosh
As the edges of my tush
Approach the speed of sound - and that's a lot

Whatever happened to my
It's the size of a planet
Whatever happened to my
It's gross! It's gross
It's my...
Why do I get the feeling that I ought to add a very BIIIIIIG bottom comment?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yoidy - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't know what happened to it. Where did you put it? LOL! funny 5s
alvin - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
no ifs, ands or BUTTS..this is funny
TJC - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Great stuff, here Phil! After your side, er, rear-splitting parody, I have to somehow get to that show! (I hope they don't make me buy two coach tickets to transport my 'double-wide'! )
AFW - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
The bottom line is...good stuff
Rex - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Bet it feels good to have this parody behind you. 555
Ann Hammond - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
What alvin said
stuart mcarthur - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
funny bottom comment to add to add to all the funny bottom lines, Phil - but I esp. loved "Not overweight: I'm under-tall" - 555
Rick C - April 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Definitely dark brown comedy here. Loved it. 555
Phil Alexander - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks for leaving all these comments behind, everybody. Given that hardly any of you are likely to know the OS, thanks for dropping in... it's such a beautifully melodramatic song, a recording should work well TJC - if you have a few gazillion spare (or are simply very lucky, like me), I'd recommend it. But it ain't cheap :-( I cannot tell a like, Stu - that one is a Garfield line (I think). But I liked it so much, I couldn't resist.

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