Skater boy in the half-pipe
His girl sings a bunch of tripe
Spinning banking skater boy
Has sweat he's gotta wipe
So why don't youuuuuuuu
Care 'bout skater boy?
His skills are truuuuuuue
Daring skater boy
And please don't boooooo
Flair-ful skater boy
Stays on like gluuuuuuuue
Scared? Not skater boy

Skater boy don't have a job
His mom thinks he is a slob
Most don't respect skater boy
Just friends and Uncle Bob
They hate the creeeeeeeew
Around skater boy
They have no cluuuuuuue
About skater boy
What can they doooooooo?
About skater boy
They wish they kneeeeeeeeeew
How to save the boy

Skater boy has blistered toes
Since he rarely changes socks
Dude'll board in snow
The season's change won't make him stop
Skated through the chicken pox
Which made all his neighbors flee
He's a stupid skater boy
And that is what he will always be
And sooooon
He'll hobble from a twisted
Ankle due to a landing
That Bob will say he missed bad
Despite the advice of his doctor
He'll sit out for just one day
He says a cast is
Much less help than Gatorade

Skater boy in the half-pipe
Hoping for a bit more hype
These are words of Skater Boy,
"Like, dude the time is ripe."
So why don't youuuuuuuuuu
Care 'bout Skater Boy
His skills are truuuuuuuuuuue
Daring Skater Boy
And please don't boooooooo
Flair-ful Skater Boy
Stays on like gluuuuuuuuuue
Scared? Not Skater Boy

Skater Boy up on the rail
Really hopes he doesn't fail
If he does then Skater Boy
Would move slow like a snail
But there's no uuuuuuuuse
Changing Skater Boy
He's always bruuuuuuuuuuuised
Crazy Skater Boy
Body's abuuuuuuuuuuuused
Achy Skater Boy
And it's hard toooooooooooo
Wake the Skater Boy

He's fast asleep at noon, he has gotta know that soon
He'll get kicked out of the house
Then all his skate plans will be ruined
L.A., Chi and D.C., Skater Boy, no one cares
But people laugh at him when
He falls on his derierrrrre
They're disrespectin'
Air won't protect him
He stays on like faulty glue
Knees often black and blue
Trees have derailed him more times than two
Ice packs for his boo-boos

(The original song closes out with four more repetitions of the chorus, but is that really necessary here?)