Won't earn a ribbon for your fresh-baked tarts
Your hot cross buns aren't a work of art
Smelled you bakin' and it made me gasp
It caused us drama here at the contest
Gagging, These pastries are a mess, When we vote...

These donuts made us squeamish
What's with this dough?!
Your muffins are the weakest
When it comes to tasting yucky, You've won
When it comes to oven stink, We're stunned

It smells like something has died
Topped with kelp and seaweed's smeared on your pies
I sure don't wanna give this a try
Stuffed with iguana, flies and hot cayenne (Yikes!)
Judging your pie made us upset since you blow...

Gross...

Your cheesecake stinks like sewage
Has a green glow!
These cookies are quite ghoulish
When it comes to looking mucky, You've won
When it's time to stomach these, You're shunned

What did I chew? Cyanide?!
Pie has elk meat and reindeer that's been fried
Can't endure one more single damn bite
There's marijuana mixed in with cement
(There's insect segments, This is our torment)
Yelling at you to "Get Bent!" at this show, Nooo...

Your brownies are my grievance
Had one and choked
These desserts beckon demons
In the kitchen you're so sucky: The worst
What the hell is stuffed in these ground dirt?!

Noooo... These confections aren't decent
Your laugh bellows
You did this all on purpose?!
It's your evil plan?!