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Song Parodies -> "Claude Osteen"

Original Song Title:

"Steve McQueen"

Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"Claude Osteen"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Claude Osteen made his first Major League pitching appearance in 1957 at the age of 17 and had an 18 year Major League Baseball career. He pitched for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 9 of those, from 1965 - 1973. Over his 9 seasons with L.A. he pitched 2396 2/3 innings, had a record of 147-126, winning 15 or more games in 7 of those 9 years (twice reaching 20 wins), with an Earned Run Average (ERA) of 3.09. In 1966 he was part of a four-man starting rotation that included future Hall-of-Famer's Sandy Koufax, Don Drysdale ("Big D") and Don Sutton ("Little D"). OH…this is not an obituary, just a tribute to a very solid and consistent professional. Osteen in still among the living.
[instrumental intro]

Well, he pitched here in the sixties
yeah, Claude Osteen was real good
didn't throw it like a rocket
threw a slider like you should
he was a good guy
he always tried

He didn't blaze the ball like Sandy
but he still got the job done
He didn't knock guys down on their ass
like "Big D", but still he won
Was a handy guy
now I'll tell you why

'Cause Claude Osteen's
ERA was under "three"
and he usually pitched to the ninth
(that's true)
Yeah, Claude Osteen
Really was a ball fan's dream
A clever lefty; threw real fine
(good dude)

[brief instrumental break]

He could pitch and win the "big ones"
Took the hill every fourth day
He was smooth and he was steady
Not shook by the Pennant Race
Yeah, he threw real fine
most every time

With Claude Osteen
Dodger's were a winning team
When he pitched here it was his prime
(True Blue)
His style was clean
Painted the "black" at the knees
Those batter's hit lots of pop flies
(were fooled)

(That Claude Osteen)

(Was good)

(He helped the team)

Well, all our starter's pitched their hearts out
Osteen, Sandy and both "D's"
Put up "zero's" for nine innings
Got those batters out with ease

They took the ball when they were called on
Always planned on going "nine"
They threw to Johnny Roseboro
Was their catcher the whole time…

That Claude Osteen
Didn't throw it like Sandy
He mixed pitches; threw mostly strikes
(so true)
Unlike "Big D"
Didn't sneer or gnash his teeth
Most batter's had "Oh-for-four" nights
(were fooled)

When Claude Osteen
Took the hill for my "fav" team
I knew that they would do alright
(I knew)
That guy; Osteen
Wonderful stuff; not much steam
Was clever; pitched well every time

(So True)

(Did do)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
He also became a renowned pitching coach, much like his Dodger teammates Johnny Podres and Ron Perranoski. (And, in an unofficial capacity, Koufax.) Five shutout innings.
alvin rhodes - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
osteen could have been the ace of many staffs....he was always overshadowed by sandy and don...nice tribute
AFW - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Sounds like you know your baseball...not familiar with this pitcher, but a well done tribute
Jason - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Paul! Its great to see you again! You keep hiding away from AmIRight then you come back with a vengance! Back to your parody, its great like it always is. 555
Adagio - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I really know not very much about baseball, but this was a very good parody, Paul...paced extra inn......I mean, good. : ) 5's
John Jenkins - March 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Paul, what are you saying about 4-man pitching rotations and pitching complete games? Are you telling me that starting pitchers were expected to pitch 9 innings on 3 days rest??? Those pitchers must have been very well compensated, right? What, you’re telling me that Claude Osteen never made more than $100 thousand, while starting pitchers today “earn” $3 million for pitching 5 innings every 5th day? Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

Finally Paul, I commend you for writing about one left-winger that I can appreciate (actually, that’s not true " I do appreciate all of AmiRight’s “lefties” " I just tend to disagree with you).
Paul Robinson - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry I couldn't get over sooner, I had no InterNet yesterday. Thanks to all! MP, yes - Osteen served as Pitching Coach with several different teams, including the Dodgers, after he retired as a player. alvin, yes, that's fact in the '66 season he was 2nd on the Dogers (to Koufax, of course) in wins and ERA (starter's only), eclipsing both Drydale's and young Don Sutton's numbers. AFW - you'd have to have been a fan in the 60's-early 70's to remember Osteen. Jason & Pat - Thanks! JJ - yes, 4-man rotations were the norm back then...not only did these guys generally make 38-41 starts a year (there were more double-headers back then), but they did not start the game with the idea of giving the ball up automatically to a reliever if they had a lead after 6 or 7 innings. No, Osteen certainly never made 100K in a season, in fact, prior to the '66 season Koufax AND Drysdale staged a tandem hold-out, seeking $125,000 and I think about $110 or $115K respectively. The Dodgers held fairly firm, but eventually gave Koufax about $100K and Drysdale slightly less, I believe. The player's had no leverage back then due the "Reserve Clause", which bound them to a team once they signed their original contract...until they retired/quit or got traded. Actually, JJ, the owner's brought much of their current Salary situation on themselves by failing to fairly modify the old (from the 1920's or earlier) Reserve Clause...they eventually lost an arbitration case (Andy Messersmith, I believe) that opened the Salary floodgates. Opinion, despite the constant moaning of ball fans everywhere about outrageous salaries, I believe the incredibly outrageous sums paid to modern ball player's generates a significant amount of fan attention and interest, thus generating larger Team Revenues. Bitch as they will, folks are for some reason more interested in watching performer's who make multi-millions than ones who make $40,000 or $50,000 a year. Yeah, I used to follow baseball very seriously, I still check the scores of the local teams, but I don't watch or attend games anymore...they take too long, for one thing...Thanks!
Stinky Rabinowitz - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey, is this a joke, or...? I am looking to find the song about Claude. Have I been duped?

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