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Song Parodies -> "Milk A Cow"

Original Song Title:

"Take A Bow"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Milk A Cow"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

There are some jobs people are experts at... For this guy this isn't one of those jobs...

We're getting down on the farm
A branding vocation
Oh yeah...
Moo, moo, moo, moo

You are all thumbs right now
Stepped in cow pies, You're doused
I can tell they're agonized
Pulling roughly, They stay dry
Cheese, We'll make from spouts

You are such a newbie at this job
Buddy, You thought that you were a smoothy, A heart throb
But.. You've never made milk flow
Hear those bovine groaning
You're not a barnyard pro
Were you out there dozing?!
Need to squeeze it slow
Take some basic training
Go hitch up that plow (Go hitch up that plow)
You suck at milking cows

Yelp, Your toes were stepped on (stepped on)
Bet you can't fill this cup!
Do city slickers just suck? (just suck?)
There's a drought
Farmers all boo, You're a dunce
Don't need books to fill this pot
Squeeze and cream will come

This dell's built for dairy, You've got squat
Buddy, Did you just say cows are scary? What a twat!
Cause these beasts are not your foe
At this task you're blowing
Your output's way too low
Best start make it growing
Or you'll hit the road
Get those utters draining
You will see me scowl (You will see me scowl)
Time to throw in the towel

Bro, My damn jaw's floored, your bucket's dry, my brain blew (my brain blew)
Pack up your stuff and leave (vamoose)
Vamoose, We need creamer for tea
We've tried to teach you...

My livestock can't stand your paws
Demanding lactation

Dude you came here for the dough
These skills you aren't showing
Need ice cream for floats
That's what we were hoping
Mind is way too slow
I know why you're straining
That's a bull you've wowed (That's a bull you've wowed)
One that was well endowed
You can't milk a cow

Yes, This punchline was taken from "Kingpin" but I've never seen it used in a song parody before and it's too good of a joke to resist!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   5
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

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WarrenB - September 17, 2015 - Report this comment
I confess I'm not up to date with the current music scene, so I had to listen to the video (had a similar dilemma with Merry & Pippin). But in the end, I was really rewarded. I believe you truly milked this one. I think youngsters should read this parody and get their RDA of essential vitamins and minerals. Nice work!
Peter Andersson - September 18, 2015 - Report this comment
I grew up on a farm, so it's somewhat disturbing to me that you beat me to this topic, I should have thought of writing one myself long ago, but then again you did it good so here are 555 buckets to fill.

Have you ever seen a cat sitting under the cow, hoping the milker will squeeze some warm milk right into its mouth? If I can just figure out how to get a parody titled "squirt the pussy" to pass censors I might take a crack at that instead. :-)
Rob Arndt - September 18, 2015 - Report this comment
You both have me an idea ;-)
Barbara - September 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Sooooo gooood! 5s

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