Chess is what I play its Pawn de Checkmate
Your queen will be slain when I bash her with my rook
With my pal I’ll say curse words knocked down my bishop
Chess is what I play but I’ll never be a crook

Chess is the best game it’s Pawn de Checkmate
Your king is my aim when you’re slashing though my stuff
Move my piece on the game board your knight will be cut
Chess is the best game since you don’t have to be buff

You’re so stunned, I won
And you’ll boo my moves
All the jocks think I’m a dork
Though their brains are made of goo
Your pawns will explode
When my queen runs the show
You’ll see my skills shine
On this checkered board

Fun, fun, fun, fun
Watch my tower move, Dunce
A rook it’s called too, Bud
Up and down and across
Playing against goons I’ll win a ton (ton)
Cause you cannot be that dumb to rock this one (one)
Need strategy with moves, Show it (Yeah, yeah)
Enshrined the bright minds, Know it (Yeah, yeah)
“Go play Chinese checkers”
Yell out the hecklers
Talents I’ll prove when I’m showing you my moves
Dumb-dumbs

Don’t think this sport’s lame it’s Pawn de Checkmate
Might be a bit tame but I still am showing off
And I’ll make that Deep Blue roar, Drove that PC nuts
It’s spewing hot flames and I’m brushing off the dust

I’ll earning chess fame it’s Pawn de Checkmate
Your king I shall maim with this pawn I’m gonna thrust
In the crowd you won’t be bored for me you will lust
I’m earning chess fame because all your moves I’ll bust

Screw Twister
Right hand on green’s lame
All I need’s a black queen
For me to have fun

Screw Twister

Got blisters
With wood I will play
Grab my sycamore king
Time to go have fun

I will hunt and grunt
And I’ll screw knights too
You play darts down at the pub but because my brain is huge
I will bash through your bishops give you the hiccups
Wipe out your fleet, Knock you off your seat

Fun, fun, fun, fun
See that horsey too, chums?
A knight is what it’s dubbed
It has L-shaped moves bud
Knock out a platoon and then you won (won)
Unless your white king is snubbed and then you lost (lost)
If you have clever moves, Flaunt em (Yeah, yeah)
Sublime when you’re prime, Taunt em (Yeah, yeah)
I don’t wanna bore ya
Finesse will floor ya
It is approved to get that piece removed
Dumb-dumbs

Your king is my prey it’s Pawn de Checkmate
No need for croquet when we’re here playing this sport
It’s intense and you won’t snore watching my knight strut
Your king is my prey not protected in a fort

The geeks are afraid it’s Pawn de Checkmate
The champ will get laid with every chess groupie slut
They are all watching him score and they get turned on
The geeks are afraid but the champ will touch some butts

They’ll whimper
Whimper when rooks sway
That word “Check” they’re fearing
Won’t hit restaurants

This trickster
Trickster has a brain
Opponents are sneering
They’re not giving up

Okay, I will wear the chess crown, I’m the chess king
Knocked your rook out, I’m not missing
Okay, I will rock this whole town hear and make you sing
Went and knocked your queen out, Now you’re hissing
Okay, I will chug this booze down it packs a zing
Knocked your knight out, Head is spinning
Okay, I might act like a clown and say “King Me”
Went and knocked your pawns out, I’m not picky

I will bring the pain its Pawn de Checkmate
I’ll make you all faint when I score the golden cup
Go drive down to the toy story and buy a chess board
I will bring the pain and I’ll mess your pieces up

This makes your mind strain it’s Pawn de Checkmate
You might get a sprain, I’m the master of Chess Club
Earned a thousand bucks or more against you morons
This makes your mind strain and you know you’re feeling stumped