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Song Parodies -> "Caesarean (The Sarah Palin Song)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Caesarean (The Sarah Palin Song)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

So, on a scale of one to holy crap Canada never looked so good, how disturbing would a Palin presidency be?
[Some chump beat off, knocked up wee youngster (a pregnancy)
Young one’s V-card gone via dumb luck (“Abstinence only, kids”)
Pro-gun teen mum, bun in the oven (GOP babies, wow)
Glum dumb repubs, fun-filled dysfunction]

No more bashing that Trig
(We get it - he’s retarded)
Why not hurt all her kids
With peevish leaks of gossip
Kid bride wife, unmade bed
Kick up a stink and shout it
Feel like annoying McCain? Yeah!

Disbelief from the right
Teen drama - taboo
Shit from creepers like Biden
And his doom crew
“Better keep it inside
We can’t abort, dude”
Iffy Roe v. Wade work

Send wedding invites
Bristol looks pretty in nun wear
Order cake, lights
Crotch armor, Bibles and lawn chairs
Dressed in off-white
Teen girl and boy at the altar
While her mom and father decide
On Palin’s Caesarean
In spite of marked, infringed-on rights: Caesarean
Palin‘s swearing in tonight, Caesarean
Great news - the slut’s pro-life!

Aides are bitchin’ and appalled
C-SPAN (and Fox!) distrusting
Get the press out - speech recalled!
Postponed? Pose with Marines
Blithe nods express doubt
War discussions? Sit out
Kids (and clothes) should come first

Getting grief ev’ry night
(Matt Damon* slams, too)
Doesn’t blink at headlights
Roadkill, like strewn moose
What a tease from the right
With ev’ry poll skewed
(Ah - the ones she danced on!)
oh, oh, oh, Oh, OH!

Foregone with stage fright
She sits and fidgets and mumbles
Feigns cliched lines
With pouts and smiles to recover
John McCain‘s vice
For babes who swallow his fodder
And dicks like Ann Coulter high-five
‘Cause Palin‘s Caesarean
A dictatorial attack, Caesarean
Tortures pundits with her rack, Caesarean
Hey, Brutus, stab her back

That greasy Gibson’s terse ques-tions
Tryin’ to explain the Bush Doc-tr-ine
“In what sense, cha-ha-ha-ha-ha-harles?
I think it’s um, uh, uh oh, is time-up?…”

Oh, what a snake bite
A fang-ed, spitting asp stunner
At McCain’s side
She’ll vouch for Right votes by hundreds
If it’s no dice
They won’t just plod to the slaughter
She’ll just make Obama resign
‘Cause Palin’s Caesarean
She’s like Ralph Fiennes in black and white (she’s Aryan)
Earrings, Nair, and monthly plights, ovarian
A-leutian Woman Reich
Yeah, Sarah’s one!
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pick out a vice president. I'm thinking Rihanna." - Paris Hilton

Original Song Here

Matt Damon's Educated Political Commentary

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   14

User Comments

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UnMadeVotress - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, please excuse me while I attend to all those unMade beds . . .
EmiLoca - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, UnMadeVotress. The government absolutely needs a bigger role in the rearrangement of our bedsheets.
Glen S - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Well done to a song I'd have no clue how to handle. I consider becoming political, then my head hurts.
EmiLoca - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Glen! (I think they have pills for that... might be a red one, or a blue one...)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Women's Freestyle Helping Event [USA] LOCA, Emi Score:
EmiLoca - September 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jake!
Jeff Reuben - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
I have to admit, I could use some help with the arrangement of my bedsheets, but the rest of the country shouldn't suffer for my inadequacies! Hilarious song!
Caryn - September 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Yea i definatley give u this one mainly because it seems u put a LOT of work into the lyrics good job
EmiLoca - September 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Jeff! Next we should start our government on warming up our shower water and pouring our Froot Loops.
And THANK YOU Caryn - you're dead right on the amount of time it took to figure out the lyrics to match consonance/assonancewise. I appreciate your unspellchecked feedback. ;-)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Your opening lines used 'young' twice for assonant purpose, so I stopped reading after that. I can only assume the rest of your parody failed to rhyme every stressed syllable, was void of any topical political humour and didn't spout off pop culture puns to any extent whatsoever.
Christie Marie M - October 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I love the original song, but this one's hilarious!!! Loved the way you added humor and tribute to this song!!! 555!!
Guy - October 12, 2008 - Report this comment

They've come to marry - seize her - then you raise him.
Matthias - October 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I think Paris Hilton has the right idea... I'll write in Rihanna on my ballot.
Agrimorfee - October 13, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Way up there in the creative rewriting, Emi! For a political parody, this was pretty damned smart.
Glen S - October 13, 2008 - Report this comment
See above, lots of great subs and rhymes in here.
EmiLoca - October 15, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - You spelled "Cesarean" wrong, freakin' Europhile.
Jason - October 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Really good. I echo most of the above comments.
Peter Andersson - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Is it true that she shot that moose from a helicopter? I'm only asking because over here such acts are totally unacceptable socialy and anyone caught doing it would (in order not to get lynched for cowardly behavior) have to flee the country and move to... let's say Alaska... ooooh... I get it now...
Max Power - October 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Gianni Parmesiani - October 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Wow. My head hurts, too, but I think you covered it. Some pretty tough words, there.
bobpiecheese - October 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This one goes completely over my head I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with the OS, and as an Australian teenager, US politics is not a subject that I would know anything about. Ah, well.
Below Average Dave - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I love it when people take on modern day hits that offer a challenge and bring something new to the table and WOW on this one is about right Gianni, except my head doesn't hurt, you hit the nail on the head in so many ways, on so many lines, and the comparison is perfect. I'm not big on political parodies, but this one is great.
Invisible Boy - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
A fine caustic wit displayed here.
The Disturbia/Ceasarean sub is very are the references, both current and classic. I'm a big fan of this one.

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