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Song Parodies -> "I'll Murder Ya (The Break Up Song)"

Original Song Title:

"Unfaithful"

Original Performer:

Rihanna

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Murder Ya (The Break Up Song)"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

Gory from my knife
Butchered, hacked and sliced
Blood will seep so violently
Torso skewered whole
Guts and bleeding lungs
If you think of dumping me

I'll saw off your hands
With scissors, blades and stuff
You'll scream as I set fire to you
I'll nail you to the bed
So you won't leave again
Because that splits my heart in two

And I know that you now want to breakup
Won't you still be my bride?
I will get trigger-happy if you say goodbye
It's time you start dying!

I am gonna scour your whole skin raw!
I am gonna cleave your knees with wire!
Ram a huge pitchfork through your jaw!
You will think twice when leaving me next time!
You are gonna squirt with blood and gore!
You are gonna ache, you'll be in strife!
Don't break up with me
I'll murder ya.

You'll squeal as I prepare
The razor wire chair
My terrible mood won't placate
Your wrists and feet in chains
'Lower abduction pains'
I thought that we would be soul mates

You say I'm not well hung?
I'll hang you from the gallows
A true dead ringer for my belle...
When I said hello,
I thought our love would grow
Now you've made it our farewell

And I know that you know I'm unstable
As I kill you tonight
I will get trigger-happy cuz you've left my side
It's time you start dying!

You don't want to listen to me snore?
You don't want the seat left up at night?
You hate how I shirk all my chores?
It's pizza night when I cook that, or Thai
You don't want my socks left on the floor?
You don't want to be a failure's wife?
Too bad, honeybee
I'll murder ya!

My knife will thrust
I'm mad as hell, I'll take this gun and put it to your head
"We can still be friends'?
Cleaved my heart in two, bitch!
Anguish pours...
Ohhhhh
Where's the gauze?

I am gonna scour your whole skin raw!
I am gonna cleave your knees with wire!
Ram a huge pitchfork through your jaw!
You will think twice when leaving me next time!
Oh, you are gonna squirt with blood and gore!
You are gonna ache, my ex-pre-wife!
Don't break up with me
I'll murder ya

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   10
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
So, I take it you've been listening to "Criminal" again, lol. Some nice word play, including the "well hung" and "dead ringer" lines, and "lower abduction" pains.
Luke Brattoni - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha ha! Haven't heard that in a long while, you've inspired me to rifle back through my CD collection. Thanks, Red!
Spaff.com - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I'm a sucker for a schmaltzy love song. After all, it's not really a breakup until someone gets broken up.

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