They come from Utah state to find
No boys were meant to be declined
Don't tell mom what you just did behind
The school gymnasium.
No turning down a date from slime-
y characters you met in line
At the market with the broken sign
Why are you acting dumb?

(rapping part)
Don't forget it happened in a lonely desert
Silly visions, I'm not sure I even get it!
It's turned into somewhat of a silly gimmick
Kinda got away from the way that nature did intend it!

This town is closed on Saturdays
Just look at all the Latter Days
Dressed up with their eleven kids
Three wives, and six in-laws!


Chorus:
Why are Mormon girls so horny?
Where'd that come from, and angel named Maroni, now?
They're so lovely, never lonely
Giving up the religion that they've left behind

Some blame it on the solitude
Abnormal rules and attitudes
No matter what your aptitude
You'll go to Brigham Young

Your sex drive came a little soon
The boys in fourth grade made you swoon
Church rules say you can't be alone
Until you reach sixteen!

(rap)
Ain't it shitty baby when your folks believe in Joseph Smitty!
Life would be a little sweet if you could marry when you're ready!
What a pity, cancha marry someone pretty?
Lookin for a hunk, but you end up with a wrinkled bitty!

Twelve children and a cozy home
You now you'll never be alone
Make sure the Mormon chromosome
Goes on so blond and pure

(Chorus)
Had a baby, then some more-y
Where they come from is not an unknown story, now
Use the condom in the drawer-y
Don't give up independence for
The Mormon Way!