Pants drop- I whizzed into a dixie
My doctor thinks he's gonna stick me
With needles very long and sharp
People say he got them from a Wal-Mart

Desensitized my reproductives
The very second that I walked in
The guy- he swears that I have cancer
Also my wife- well, he wants to de-pants her

I never understood this nutcase
I know for sure he's in the wrong place
He never ever went to med school
Prescribed me ritalin to cure the flu

White things are swimming in his bunghole
Beware the doctor from the devil
I know for sure I don't got cancer
The stupid, fraud, and dangerous depants-er!

The rubber gloves, his evil hands
For having an insurance plan
Ever wonder why it's all so cruel?
The world above, the laughs I got
For having fists shoved up my butt
Come and tell me when it's all through

My tonsils "need" to be removed
Not something that should be approved
Those doctors shove my face with ice cream
After my observing wife was screaming

Good thing I hope that it's all over
I know for sure I won't roll over
This stooge needs to be replaced
'Cause no one wants to see his ugly face

The fatter people have a burden
They need to put up with the surgeons
They're at the hospital much more than
Everyone else- except for Michael Jackson

Can't stop these pests when they abuse you
These docs are happy to intrude you
So tell me, when is your next check-up?
Are you gonna skip it or go? Wake the heck up!

The rubber glove, his evil hands
For having an insurance plan
Ever wonder why it's all so cruel?
The world I love, the laughs I got
For having fists shoved up my butt
Come and tell me when it's all through

In a minute you'll be passing out for
Surgery, you will lose
Then they'll shock you with electric things to
Wake you up, that's enough
Ten more minutes and you will be back
On your shoes, just like new
You don't know that they gave you a vasectomy too,
Did you?

Pants drop- I whizzed into a dixie
My doctor thinks he's gonna stick me
With needles very long and sharp
People say he got them from a Wal-Mart

Desensitized my reproductives
The very second that I walked in
The guy- he swears that I have cancer
Also my wife- well, he wants to de-pants her

Kick doctors when you really hate 'em
(In the) Sweet spot, it surely won't sedate them
Can't stop these guys from striking fear in
People's hearts, and more or less their feelings

Doctors aren't very ordinary
In fact sometimes I think they're scary
2 or 3 times each and every year
No wonder why we're shedding many tears

Can't stop the doctors when they bleed you
Their offices are hard to breathe through