One night, could not drive
Tired, drunken head
So the Uber dropped me off—
I said goodbye to friends
I said
Need hotel I liked
The Hilton’s one I liked
They serve up a nice breakfast
The service there is nice

But wow
I saw—something—so—hard—to—describe

Right there in the lobby
Fifty men at least
They were giggling and tumbling
Dancing and leering
My heart palpitating
Men with rubber red noses
Their faces all painted white stuff
Bangles, hair fluffed up
Creepiest hobos that I’d ever seen
Just like Tim Curry’s “IT” role, oh heaven!
Now—you—know—why I—felt—so—uptight
That’s—why—I thought—I’d not—survive

‘Cause clowns are perverted and unkempt I believe
They twitch and gesticulate
Wearing rubber red noses
On the faces of all it’s true
Ran out of town!
I saw rubber red noses!
All those rubber red noses!
All throwing on a big farce
Juggle balls, mad arts
It was only a convention
It was the circus season
The hotel was all booked up
All suites were filled up
Clowns with rubber red noses!
Wearing rubber red noses!
And—flop-py—shoes—my!
Size—thir-teen—wide!