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Song Parodies -> "These Pick-Up Lines Suck"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"These Pick-Up Lines Suck"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Thanks to Agrimorfee for challenging me to parody this song. I really enjoyed it once I found a good enough angle to work with it.
These pick-up lines suck (Repeat 8x)

“Hey babe!
Sexy jeans!
Can I get myself in them?”

Must have lost something
The thing that does my thinking
These pick-up lines are stinking

When I flirted
All the lines that I have used
They sure won’t get you naked
“Babe, I think you lost your head
And I have it in my bed”

These pick-up lines suck (Repeat 8x)

I cry
Once sprayed with some mace
Cause I gave Amber a couple sting of beads as pay
I know it’s Thanksgiving
Though Mardi Gras is far miss
Can you still go and strip tease?
Here’s a drink
Got to get you drunk for banging

When I flirted
These women are awfully tough
Even when intoxicated
I will never go get laid
With these lines I’ve spoken
I… Have flirted
I get kicked straight in the crotch
The bartenders love to watch

Clichés… Always

I’ll never ride you
I’ll never spank you
I’ll never f*ck you
Hell, I can’t even kiss you!

These pick-up lines suck (Repeat 8x)

“Nice Ass!
Mind if I just squeeze?”
One more stomp on my toes
Cause she just got peeved
“Great rack!
I’m being quite sincere”
Get my face splashed with liquor
And doused with fifteen beers

I flirted (There’s no women I picked up)
I Flirted…
Spewing clichés that are always rude
“Soon your monkey sounds will fill my room”
Oops! That last chick was actually a dude!

These pick-up lines suck (Repeat 8x)

“I’ll make your Bedrock!”

“You think that works! That don’t work!
Some pigs will fly before that works!
I will stay clad”

(Laughter of the girls pointing at him)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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AFW - May 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Some good lines, here....are some of these original?...I think the best pick up lines are those printed on money...good parody, tho'
UnKnownVo - May 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Matthias, at least the girls are laughing; that is a start in the right direction! Humor warms the heart.
MrMacphisto - May 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Poe rocks! Good song choice and great parody! :) If you haven't already, check out the stuff that she's done with Conjure One.
littePickUpCakes - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Best PickUp line for me ever . . . ~~ I'm DAVE ~~ . . . & the removal of his Stetson, placed over his heart, along with a wide cowboy grin!! That 'll do it, Sir !! Believe me, it made me dizzy . . .
Below Average Dave - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I better be careful, because I say "I'm Dave" quite often :) Very interesting parody Matty!
Jack Wilson - May 15, 2008 - Report this comment
That was awesome! 5s
Agrimorfee - May 16, 2008 - Report this comment
As the challenger of this parody, I say this was pretty damned good (Verse 2 marred by your poetic license, though). I'm haunted enough to give you 5s.
Agrimorfee - June 02, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) It should be noted that my ears have always heard the refrain as a 4-count "ba-da, ba,ba," but all the 'net lyric sites say that it's a 5-count "Ba da pa pa ba"--so please don't hold that against Matthias in any way. My above comment still stands also.
Below Average Dave - June 02, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Um, ba-da-ba-ba, no. . .that's what she's saying, yep, definitely. That and there's that whole "Once Sprayed with some Mace" stanza, that stanza didn't fit the rest of the write (Seemed very random--Thanksgiving and Mardi Gras didn't work for me) The rest of the write was solid, and funny. Your opening pick up line was really cool, and it's always awesome to see someone take on songs that are uncommon among AmIRighters
Wolverine - June 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Agri, I agree I've always heard a 4 count (listened to it again on the ipod), but it's workable. Great song Matthias! "I'd like to buy 555 more drinks for that parody author at the end of the bar..."
Max Power - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
555 pickups
stuart mcarthur - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) You don't get a more concise summing-up of the dating process from a male perspective than "Got to get you drunk for banging" - lol - and I've yet to hear a worse-prospected line than the monkey sounds one - great topic for parody Matty - 555
bobpiecheese - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-T) Interesting idea, but a bit too focused on sex for me.
Red Ant - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, Matt. 5s
Guy - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4T) Best come back to a bad pick up line I ever heard was some years ago in a bar. Some babe walked in and this drunk said "Boy would I like to get in your pants". The girl gave him one of those looks and said "Why? did you shid yours"? Great write Matt.
Invisible Boy - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Matty...I'm tired of reading sexual parodies to this OS...Kidding !!!
Interesting idea here.To help you('re)'s a roll of nickels in your pocket.
Mikey Squirrel - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- Only one problem with the pacing for me, where it says 'these pick up lines suck', in the OS, it's only 4 syllables (da-dadada). Other than that, this was very funny and well done, Matty.

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