Hey Little Debbie, what’s it like inside my stomach
Swimming in some stomach acid
Hope you remembered your bathing suit, you’ll need it,
As you’ll be swimming for a while, yes, for a while.

Hey Little Debbie, I wanted to do some swimming
‘Cause I’m at my friend’s pool party
But I’m stuck sitting along the sidelines,
I should not have eaten you so soon, so soon.

Oh, but I was hungry.
Oh, you were appetizing.
Oh, you’re my guilty pleasure.
Oh, your cookies are the best,
Better than my mom’s.

Hey Little Debbie, there’s a box right here beside me
I’m about to dig right through it
As I forgot to eat lunch before I came here,
Oh shit my stomach’s nagging me, stupid me.

Hey Little Debbie, I know I should share with my friends
But I really do not want to,
As your snacks are appetizing at the moment,
Oatmeal Cream Pies, Fudge Rounds, and my favorite: Chocolate Chip Pies.

Oh, but I was hungry.
Oh, you were appetizing.
Oh, you’re my guilty pleasure.
Oh, your cookies are the best.

The grocery aisle seems pretty far,
But I’ve got a box or two right here.
I’d buy some more if I had a way.
I could send my roomie to the store
With a list of all my favorite snacks
That he shall buy if he doesn’t wanna die.

Little Debbie, I can promise you
A very loyal friendship.
Satisfaction guaranteed,
Though you’ll make me fat.

Hey Little Debbie,
I will miss you when my doctor
Tells me to go on a diet
And therefore eliminate you entirely.

I’ll sure as hell remember the good times,
The good times I had when I ate you.
Hey Little Debbie, here’s to you.
This is for you.

Oh, but I was hungry.
Oh, you were appetizing.
Oh, you’re my guilty pleasure.
Oh, your cookies are the best,
Better than my mom’s.