Hey there Mariah, this is Insert Coin(s), you know me?
I’m a long time fan, I buy up every album that you throw me,
Yes I do,
So can I ask something of you?
Have a minute or two?
Hey there, Mariah, you’ve inspired me, for instance,
Thanks to your love and support, I have been moved to adopt infants,
One named Bryce,
But that’s not why I write tonight,
One song I write,

Oh, would you sing with me?
Oh, on my parody?
Oh, I spoofed “Touch My Body”
Off of E equals MC,
Would you sing with me?

Hey there Mariah, I know I’m not yet a star,
I haven’t released my own clothing line; I don’t even own a car,
But you’re so good,
And Missy Elliot’s just too hood,
I thought that you would,
Hey there Mariah, I’m free this and next Wednesday,
If you’d just sing the parts I write for you, I’ll mix the parod-ay,
Give me a call,
Dr. Demento’d love it all,
He’d have a ball,

Oh, would you sing with me?
Oh, my written comedy,
Oh, I’ll leak the MP3,
If I like the parody,

A thousand miles seems pretty far,
But they have planes and trains and cars,
And submarines and catapults and sleighs,
The media may question us,
But we know we’re doing this because,
Our time is short, but songs don’t go away,
Mariah, I can promise you,
By the time that we get through,
The world will never ever be the same,
Technicall-ay,

Hey there Mariah, you be good and don’t forget me,
If you ever want to sing with true professionals, then hit me,
We’ll sing fun,
Songs for A.D. 2101,
And maybe when the song is done,
We can, Mariah, sing a ton,
For my next album,

Oh, would you sing with me,
Oh, for my budget’s price of free?
Oh, I need some more money,
Oh, to buy a 360,
And Banjo-Kazooie,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, woah, oh, and whatnot.