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Song Parodies -> "Twilight Blows"

Original Song Title:

"Decode"

Original Performer:

Paramore

Parody Song Title:

"Twilight Blows"

The Lyrics

Original song here.
Waited in the line for Twilight
Chicks were crowding up the aisle
For his skin which glows so bright
Toothy smile

That Cullen fella mopes and pines
With complexion fake and white
I’ll grab a stake and slay him right
What is this triiiiipe? It’s a criiiiiiime

Hear them scream and cheer
All those stupid groupie fangirllllls!
Look, Edward is a queer
Watch him twinkle sooo-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh!

*moody pout solo*

He’s nothing like a real vampire
They need fangs to eat their lunch
He’s longing for her blood?
Go down on her at her peak

That-time-of-month Draculaaaaa
Gives you wings like Red Bull
Still, Ed can’t figure Miss Swan out

What type? Ohhhhh…
(Just bleedin’ well wants her throat)
She’s Type O!
(Bloodclots worn as cologne)

So why does he dig her?
She’s 90 years his junior? Oh, well
(Pedo!)
He’s cute and so demure?
Man, this chick flick blow-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh-s!

*duelling angsty, brooding banjos*

Through the tree-tops they run
A waste of freaking spools
Make more films?
Camera 3 must be drunk
Quick cuts and crazy zooms
Plus Dutch tilts?

(Moooooan. Groooooan.)

Get me out of here!
All this schmoozing makes me feel ill
(Eurrrgh! Bleccch!)
Series of the year?
Must be frozen over in hell…

Some twinkling schmoe
This stinks, you know

Can’t keep watching
Can’t continue
It might kill me
Good, I’ll miss Twilight 2

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   8
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Silver Power - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
There were too many great lines to list, and what a perfect original song choice for this cubject... 555 [more Twilight sequels! NOO!]
Silver Power - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
CORRECTION: *Subject, not 'cubject'.
Matthias - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Was this song actually in Twilight or was that some crappy made fan-vid? I hate the movie so I really enjoyed your smash of it.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
It was, like, the official soundtrack video. I think YouTube pulled the official video down.
garythenotrashcouger - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment
i wrote a parody about how afi sucks. twilight is one of the few things i hate more than afi. words cannot begin to describe how much i hate twilight
Flash Flood - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Stephenie Meyer saw the idea in a dream,which is now a nightmare to the rest of us.Great job,Jake/Luke!

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