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Song Parodies -> "Twilight Blows"
Original Song Title:
"Decode"
Original Performer:
Paramore
Parody Song Title:
"Twilight Blows"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
Original song here.
Waited in the line for Twilight
Chicks were crowding up the aisle
For his skin which glows so bright
Toothy smile
That Cullen fella mopes and pines
With complexion fake and white
I’ll grab a stake and slay him right
What is this triiiiipe? It’s a criiiiiiime
Hear them scream and cheer
All those stupid groupie fangirllllls!
Look, Edward is a queer
Watch him twinkle sooo-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh!
*moody pout solo*
He’s nothing like a real vampire
They need fangs to eat their lunch
He’s longing for her blood?
Go down on her at her peak
That-time-of-month Draculaaaaa
Gives you wings like Red Bull
Still, Ed can’t figure Miss Swan out
What type? Ohhhhh…
(Just bleedin’ well wants her throat)
She’s Type O!
(Bloodclots worn as cologne)
So why does he dig her?
She’s 90 years his junior? Oh, well
(Pedo!)
He’s cute and so demure?
Man, this chick flick blow-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh-s!
*duelling angsty, brooding banjos*
Through the tree-tops they run
A waste of freaking spools
Make more films?
Camera 3 must be drunk
Quick cuts and crazy zooms
Plus Dutch tilts?
(Moooooan. Groooooan.)
Get me out of here!
All this schmoozing makes me feel ill
(Eurrrgh! Bleccch!)
Series of the year?
Must be frozen over in hell…
Some twinkling schmoe
This stinks, you know
Can’t keep watching
Can’t continue
It might kill me
Good, I’ll miss Twilight 2
Chicks were crowding up the aisle
For his skin which glows so bright
Toothy smile
That Cullen fella mopes and pines
With complexion fake and white
I’ll grab a stake and slay him right
What is this triiiiipe? It’s a criiiiiiime
Hear them scream and cheer
All those stupid groupie fangirllllls!
Look, Edward is a queer
Watch him twinkle sooo-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh!
*moody pout solo*
He’s nothing like a real vampire
They need fangs to eat their lunch
He’s longing for her blood?
Go down on her at her peak
That-time-of-month Draculaaaaa
Gives you wings like Red Bull
Still, Ed can’t figure Miss Swan out
What type? Ohhhhh…
(Just bleedin’ well wants her throat)
She’s Type O!
(Bloodclots worn as cologne)
So why does he dig her?
She’s 90 years his junior? Oh, well
(Pedo!)
He’s cute and so demure?
Man, this chick flick blow-ah-oh-ah-oh-ohhhhh-s!
*duelling angsty, brooding banjos*
Through the tree-tops they run
A waste of freaking spools
Make more films?
Camera 3 must be drunk
Quick cuts and crazy zooms
Plus Dutch tilts?
(Moooooan. Groooooan.)
Get me out of here!
All this schmoozing makes me feel ill
(Eurrrgh! Bleccch!)
Series of the year?
Must be frozen over in hell…
Some twinkling schmoe
This stinks, you know
Can’t keep watching
Can’t continue
It might kill me
Good, I’ll miss Twilight 2
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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There were too many great lines to list, and what a perfect original song choice for this cubject... 555 [more Twilight sequels! NOO!]
CORRECTION: *Subject, not 'cubject'.
Was this song actually in Twilight or was that some crappy made fan-vid? I hate the movie so I really enjoyed your smash of it.
It was, like, the official soundtrack video. I think YouTube pulled the official video down.
i wrote a parody about how afi sucks. twilight is one of the few things i hate more than afi. words cannot begin to describe how much i hate twilight
Stephenie Meyer saw the idea in a dream,which is now a nightmare to the rest of us.Great job,Jake/Luke!
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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