I'm measured by gallons.
I'm kicked out of most buffets.
Please don
t be scared,
I am just over weight.
I am the fattest, a 330 ton paperweight, with a weight problem.
With maturity and a beer gut.
I am insane,
I have just gained.
I weigh like a train.
I'll need a crane.

My pants rip almost every time,
Because I am such a fat dude.
I shoulda' never taken drugs.
Got munchies from the queludes.
I'm on the weight watchers,
And I'm carryin' a wide load,
And Grapefruit Diets won't same me now.
I'm so damn down.

Tried V8,
A V8, A V8.
I've tried a V8.
A V8,
I'm still big, Uh.

This weight I'll keep on losin',
Till' I see my end.
There hasn't been a change.
Progressing backwards,
I've weighed now 340.
Despise Oreos,
They are my biggest test.

My pants rip almost every time,
Because I am such a fat dude.
I shoulda' never taken drugs.
Got munchies from the queludes.
I'm on the weight watchers,
And I'm carryin' a wide load,
I just tripped on a garden rake,
I'm fallin' to the ground.

Fallin' to the ground.
All the way.
{Not again}.

My life is fatness,
Cholesterol.
Weight Watcher's Programs,
Ain't got no control.
Let's take our Frito Chips,
Or our Doritos.
Stuffin' our face with KFC of Ho-Hos.
Well, no,
Somehow.
You now, I lose this weight somehow.
Maybe, somehow.

My pants rip almost every time,
Because I am such a fat dude.
I shoulda' never taken drugs.
Got munchies from the queludes.
I'm on the weight watchers,
And I'm carryin' a wide load,
And Grapefruit Diets won't same me now.
I'm so damn down.
My pants rip almost every time,
Because I am such a fat dude.
I shoulda' never taken drugs.
Got munchies from the queludes.
I'm on the weight watchers,
And I'm carryin' a wide load,
I just tripped on a garden rake,
I'm fallin' to the ground.

Fallin' to the ground.
Landing facedown.
{Gotta lose this weight}