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Song Parodies -> "Gay Smurfs (Rule 34)"

Original Song Title:

"Hey Girl"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Gay Smurfs (Rule 34)"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Having recently learned about the existence of cartooned smurf fanfic erotica and also about the so called Rule 34 ("if it exists, there is porn of it") I initially assumed the smurf part would all somehow be centered around Smurfette. Not so! Fact check it at your own peril 'cos here's another song about cartoons on the blue side of the internet.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
I surfed the deep web last night, and was quite overwhelmed
I fell off my effing seat, and got blue butt myself
I like the Smurfs, but that weren't right
Like sex with sheep, and Bronies grooming girls all night
Blue fanfics are crazy, but they're for free
That part's OK, rest is not my cup of tea

Gay Smurfs came at me, and filled the window
Gay Smurfs artistry, my jaw's on the floor

I'm online again tonight, though I feel it ain't right
I am pussywhipped for more, and that Catwoman's tight, sure is
Jess' Rabbit threadbare, she's really my kind
A tooned honey bear, that I wish that I could find
These fanfics are crazy, should let them be
I'll surf away, once this Baywatch toon I've seen

Gay Smurfs on the beach, with blue saddle sores
God, my eyes need bleach, to wipe the hardcore

But God, there is more!

Handy and Hefty, with nothing blurred
And Gargamel and Farmer Smurf when packing turds
I closed tab on Nat, dancing 'round a pole
And don't ask about Clumsy, under Vanity's hard control
In my mind there's still Lucky, he's with Monty in the air
Though I'd get to catch a bit Smurfette, and her affairs
And all this smut I tell you, was just not worth the surf
There's still no Kardashians with Smurfs!

Gay Smurfs popped at me, by rule 34
Gay Smurfs leave me be, I don't wanna know!

This search I deplore
(Gay Smurfs)
Found smutty cartooning
A search I deplore
(Gay Smurfs)
Much smutty cartooning
Don't wanna know
(Gay Smurfs)
'Bout Garfield and pussy
Won't look for toons no more
(Gay Smurfs)
So I'm going back to chicks
And the ewes I've got next door

© Peter Andersson. (This one was for the current round of ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge, this time again hosted by Matthias. Details are to be found under "Amiright Events" on the front page).

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
I’m thrilled & disturbed that my parody about Smurf Sex inspired you to write your own. I love the crossovers with Garfield & Jessica Rabbit. Great creepy stuff!
Darius Whitehead - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
I'm Disgusted By That Kind Of Smurf Song...Great Disgusting Stuff, BTW, I Also Love The Garfield Crossover Too...So Good Job...Uh, I'm Gonna Barf Now...{BLEEEAAAAAAAAAGH!!!}...God.
Agrimorfee - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Gee willikers, Pete, only you could take this prurient thought that germinated from Matty and take it one step further over the line. (I'll be surprised if someone doesn't complain about it, so better archive this page before it turns into a 404). 555 while it lasts.
Peter Andersson - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, I thought I was done with the smurfs, but then Matty's top suggestion on the brainstorm post for this round was "Gay girl" and I thought, "Hey, why not 'gay smurfs', I'll try to start the parody in that direction to see what happens". And before I knew it I had the first verse and three choruses. The third verse was an obstruction for quite a while, but then I came up with using smurf names for themed puns - and with names like Monty and Lucky and Nat (that's short for Natural, and is a real smurf name, both the full and shortened version) those jokes pretty much wrote themselves. The Kardashians line was a last minute save, a bit out of place maybe.
Peter Andersson - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Also, I've now started contemplating other wider smurf parody ideas beyond simple smurfalizing. Stumbling over the smurf village while out running in the woods? What would happen if Papa Smurf entered politics? On the red side? On the blue side?Fanfic song about a Smurf Jedi, or Darth Smurf. The Smurf Avengers? Gargamel vs The Grinch - who's the best/worst village menace? Etc.
Matthias - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Running the smurf village over with a lawn mower? Smurfs tripping on shrooms? Super Mario/ Smurfs crossover
Darius Whitehead - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Maybe Punishing The Smurfs For A Long Time? Suspending The Smurfs From Smurf School? That Would Make It A GoAnimate/Smurfs Crossover.
Michael Pacholek - July 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Well, according to the Ferengi, Rule 34 is "War is good for business." Rule 35 is "Peace is good for business." Rule 1 is "Once you have their money, never, ever give it back."

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