I need me a witch,
With some magic fruit,
I need me a witch,
A fine witch with a big nose and some big ol' boots,
I need me a witch,
Like I need a dog,
I need me a witch,
So I can have her turn everybody else into a frog,
I need me a witch,
Ain't no need to lie,
I need me a witch,
She'll make me turn to stone when I look in her eye,
I need me a witch,
Like I need hook and tackle,
I need me a witch,
That'll make my heart throb with every cackle,
I need me a witch,
Who is all of this,
I need me a witch,
Who will fly me around the town on two seated broomsticks,
I need me a witch,
Like never before,
I need me a witch,
One who's famous in fairy tales and folklore,
I need me a witch,

I've got a favorite witch,
Who's got a castle in the gloom,
She's got distressed damsels in almost every room,
Until she decides to spread her doom,
Hops up on her broom,
And gets and heads off with a zoom,
Off to the nearest tomb,
You know I love the way she's laughing every night,
I like her nose and hat, and her pets are alright,
And after tonight, she won't remember me,
So many spells she casts until she loses her memory,
I tell her it's ok, it's me,
We're back her in your castle, see?
I've got two kids in the oven so there's no need for you to worry, B,
So I go fix up some lizard brains,
And monkey veins,
And, of course, with two straws we share in life's most beautiful pains,
And that's when she gets out the book,
She runs down, grabs her frog legs, and then begins to cook,
To send me back home before the hanging mob comes to look,
They're on their feet,
They should know she's really sweet,
Ask me,
Nobody cooks toenails like she,

I need me a witch,
I need me a witch,
I need me a witch,
Who ain't hard to please,
I need me a witch,
With smooth green skin, a pointed nose, and wobbly knees,
I need me a witch,
Who ain't scared to flirt,
I need me a witch,
Who can slay twenty zombies and still look good in a skirt,
I need me a witch,
Who'll dance to jive,
I need me a witch,
Who hasn't been staked, stoned, hanged, or burned alive,
I need me a witch,
This I can't deny (I can't deny),
I need me a witch,
I love it when she sits on her broom and takes me for a fly,
I need me a witch,
And a vampire,
I need me a witch,
To carry us around if we get a flat tire,
I need me a witch,
Like I need a drink,
Witch,
Who can really turn me on with her rotten stink,
Witch,
I need a witch,
I need a witch,
I need a witch,
I need a witch.